Cooking is an art form that involves all of our senses. We touch, smell, taste, listen, and see in order to produce something that nourishes ourselves and those we love. Beyond that, cooking requires planning, patience, and money, and it often involves the critique of the people we love most. In other words, cooking is multidimensional and richly personal. 

The forthcoming tips were gathered from home cooks with an array of experience and points of view. Many tips overlapped, and each person had bits to add that did not involve actual cooking, but instead were focused on the cook’s environment, mindset, and reasons for cooking in the first place. The bottom line is this: Anyone can improve their skill set in the kitchen, and you don’t need a pantry full of expensive ingredients or equipment to do it.

Happy cooking!

 

1. BE MINDFUL: cooking can be stressful, and it doesn’t need to be. It’s all about mindset. Take three deep breaths before beginning and remember your intention behind cooking in the first place. Is it to nourish? Please your guests? Connect people? Help you unwind from your day? Ground into moment and go forward with that energy. It carries into the food you cook.
2. SET THE MOOD: put on your favorite music, light a candle, clear the sink of dishes. When the vibe is right, you’ll have more fun and approach your food with more patience, play and love.
3. INVEST in the best knife you can afford and keep it sharp. Your knife is an extension of your arm and your most valuable kitchen tool. Also, sharp knives are safer than dull knives.
4. USE A CUTTING BOARD that’s spacious and sturdy, and keep it stationary by wetting a paper towel and putting it flat between the countertop and cutting board.
5. READ IT: If following a recipe, read it from start to finish before you pick up your knife. Chop what needs chopping, slice what needs slicing, and measure out your spices all before anything hits the heat. In French terms, this is called “mise en place,” and it means “everything in place” before you start cooking. This way you’re not caught unprepared and your mind will be able to focus on exactly the task at hand.
6. SAVE THE RINDS from your parmesan cheese. You can freeze them until ready to use. Toss a rind into pasta sauce or soup while it simmers. The cheese will diffuse into whatever you’re cooking, adding an unexpected dimension of flavor to the dish.
7. LEMONS: Always keep a lemon or two in your kitchen. Lemon will improve the flavor of just about everything. Lemon zest will elevate the intensity of a lemony flavor, while lemon juice will add more tartness to a dish. Zest lemons before cutting and juicing them. Use fresh lemon juice, not bottled.
8. BUTTER: Make sure to read the recipe and follow the directions for using butter. Use melted butter when your recipe calls for melted butter. There is a chemical reason for using butter at various temperatures, and each will yield a different result. Avoid using a microwave to bring butter to room temperature.
9. BROWN BUTTER: If your recipe calls for butter, brown it over low heat first! Browned butter adds an unforgettable nuttiness to anything: especially baked goods, mashed potatoes, and popcorn.
10. SOAK garlic cloves in water overnight to make them easier to peel.
11. SOAK sliced or chopped onions in ice water to make them extra crispy and milder. Soak onions in vinegar to mellow their bite and make them sweeter.
12. BEFORE BRAISING cuts of red meat, brown them. This seals in the juices and creates a fond, which are the brown bits at the bottom of the pan that elevate a sauce from good to fantastic.
13. For better french fries: double fry them. First, cook them in a saturated stable fat (like beef lard) until softened and starting to brown. Then remove them, drain them, and return back to the fat to finish frying.
14. For better roasted potatoes: Cut and parboil them in salted water for 15 minutes. Drain them, season them, and roast with olive oil for 25-35 minutes at 400 degrees until crispy and golden, tossing halfway through.
15. For better mashed potatoes: If you’re making gravy or pan sauce, save some of that starchy cooking liquid before draining the potatoes. Add the drained potatoes back to the pot and allow them to dry out over very low heat (stirring consistently). Warm the cream or milk before adding. Add butter at room temp (not melted) in small increments as you are mashing the potatoes. This allows the butter to incorporate into the potatoes more completely.
16. For better smoothies: Peel and cut bananas into chunks and freeze them. This will make your smoothie colder, thicker, and smoother. It also gives your almost-bad bananas a chance to shine where they might’ve met the compost bin instead.
17. LEARN A VARIETY of cooking methods: steaming, sautéing, braising, and roasting, for example. Start with one technique at a time, and practice each technique with a variety of vegetables.
18. CLEAN as you go! It’s not very fun to clean up the whole mess after eating the delicious dinner you’ve prepared. Take micro breaks as you’re cooking to lighten the cleanup load at the end.
19. BLANCH TOMATOES and peel the skins to make a smoothly textured and flavored sauce.
20. SEASON AND TASTE as you go! Keep a dish of sea salt next to the stove so that you can season each layer of flavor you’re adding to the dish. Start lightly: you can always add more.
21. ALLOW meat and fish to rest for several minutes once removed from heat. Fish and meat continue to cook internally even after exposure to heat. Allowing the meat to rest gives the flavors within proteins time to settle. Meat that’s prematurely cut will lose flavorful juices, and these are the juices you want to keep. 
22. IF YOU BURN IT: If some or most of the dish is salvageable, scrape off the burnt parts. Then puree it into a soup. Throw it out or throw it in a crockpot to cook down to homemade food for your pet. Take a deep breath, and remember you can start again tomorrow.
23. IF YOU OVER-SALT IT: Add rice, potatoes, quinoa, more veggies or beans to soak up the extra salinity.
24. BLOOM: When making a dish with a bunch of ingredients or spices, add each ingredient incrementally and allow its flavor to bloom before adding the next ingredient or spice.
25. ADD SPICES before adding liquid, not after. Spices are fat-soluble and need to be incorporated with fat. Adding spices too late will cause them to pool to the top instead of blending properly into your dish. For example: add spices to your sautéing veggies when making chili; then, add the rest of the ingredients.
26. Use ONIONS AND GARLIC together, and add garlic during the last 30 seconds of cooking (or just before adding any liquid). Garlic is easy to burn and will make the whole dish taste bitter if it does.
27. TEST THE SEASONING of ground meat (burgers, meatballs, meatloaf, kabobs, etc) by pinching off a small bit of meat. Cook it in a sauté pan and taste. Adjust the whole yield accordingly (you can test this way as many times as it takes!).
28. BUY GREENS every time you shop and chop them as soon as you get home. Store them in an airtight container with a damp paper towel. That way you can throw in a handful of greens to whatever you’re cooking. It’ll quickly boost the nutrient-density of your meal.
29. USE FRESH HERBS liberally. When buying a bunch of parsley or cilantro, chop it all at once. Save whatever you don’t use first in an airtight container and add handfuls of herbs to whatever you’re cooking. Chopped herbs will last 3-4 days when stored properly.
30. EMBRACE the seasons. What’s in season now is what will taste the best. If you don’t know which vegetables are in season when, observe what looks the best and brightest at the market. Strawberries and tomatoes are most vibrant and abundant in the summertime. Squashes are gorgeous during the fall. Use your instincts to guide you toward the freshest seasonal produce. Your food will taste better when your ingredients are solid.
31. ACIDS: Get to know your acids. A splash of red wine vinegar or lemon juice goes a long way to elevating a dish. Different vinegars and citrus juices will lend a different effect, and you’ll learn to spot the difference with time and experience. Start with red wine vinegar. Venture to white wine, sherry, champagne, and balsamic vinegars. Fruit vinegars are often loaded with sugar. Use these sparingly. Add a bit of vinegar or citrus at the end of cooking, taste, and add more if necessary.
32. SWEETEN your dishes more creatively: for example, use honey, maple syrup, date paste, molasses, grated carrot, mashed banana and applesauce in baked goods. Alternative sweeteners lend a depth and complexity that regular cane sugar does not.
33. HOMEMADE VINAIGRETTES are simple to make and so much fresher than anything you can buy at the store. Learn to make a base vinaigrette with olive oil, vinegar, dijon mustard, salt, and pepper. From there, the sky’s the limit.
34. OBSERVE as you eat your own food, and the food of others: What do you love about this particular dish? Remember and even take notes. Ask the cook how they seasoned it, or what they did to make the texture just right. People love sharing knowledge and talking about what they’ve created. Nothing beats learning from fellow home cooks.
35. BE EASY on yourself. Cooking is a skill that takes practice, and practice requires mistakes to learn. Use these mistakes as opportunities to improve next time.

 

Contributors:

Jacqui Gabel is a nutrition therapist, chef instructor, and personal wellness chef in the greater Denver area. She lives to inspire connection, empowerment, and memory through food. Find her on IG: @realfooddesire 

Mason J. Spendow is a traveling retreat caterer and private chef based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His life’s work is to be a steward for the profound healing powers of food. Find out more about Mason at www.onpurposekitchen.com and IG: @onpurposekitchen

Ji Sun Chong loves to cook delicious food and eat to her heart’s content. She lives in Philadelphia and has gained inspiration through time living in Baltimore (her hometown), Washington DC, Maitland, Ontario, The Twin Cities, and Seoul. 

Tony Tushar spent over a decade working in James Beard award-winning kitchens where he learned how to tie together an appreciation for multi-cultured food and seasonal eating. He currently lives in Minneapolis and loves nourishing his family.

Linda Quillen is a retired nurse practitioner living in Lincoln, Nebraska. She is a lifelong cook who loves the challenge of cooking a new dish and learning new techniques to feed the people she loves.

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Cooking is an art form that involves all of our senses. We touch, smell, taste, listen, and see in order to produce something that nourishes ourselves and those we love. Beyond that, cooking requires planning, patience, and money, and it often involves the critique of the people we love most. In other words, cooking is multidimensional and richly personal. 

The forthcoming tips were gathered from home cooks with an array of experience and points of view. Many tips overlapped, and each person had bits to add that did not involve actual cooking, but instead were focused on the cook’s environment, mindset, and reasons for cooking in the first place. The bottom line is this: Anyone can improve their skill set in the kitchen, and you don’t need a pantry full of expensive ingredients or equipment to do it.

Happy cooking!

 

1. BE MINDFUL: cooking can be stressful, and it doesn’t need to be. It’s all about mindset. Take three deep breaths before beginning and remember your intention behind cooking in the first place. Is it to nourish? Please your guests? Connect people? Help you unwind from your day? Ground into moment and go forward with that energy. It carries into the food you cook.
2. SET THE MOOD: put on your favorite music, light a candle, clear the sink of dishes. When the vibe is right, you’ll have more fun and approach your food with more patience, play and love.
3. INVEST in the best knife you can afford and keep it sharp. Your knife is an extension of your arm and your most valuable kitchen tool. Also, sharp knives are safer than dull knives.
4. USE A CUTTING BOARD that’s spacious and sturdy, and keep it stationary by wetting a paper towel and putting it flat between the countertop and cutting board.
5. READ IT: If following a recipe, read it from start to finish before you pick up your knife. Chop what needs chopping, slice what needs slicing, and measure out your spices all before anything hits the heat. In French terms, this is called “mise en place,” and it means “everything in place” before you start cooking. This way you’re not caught unprepared and your mind will be able to focus on exactly the task at hand.
6. SAVE THE RINDS from your parmesan cheese. You can freeze them until ready to use. Toss a rind into pasta sauce or soup while it simmers. The cheese will diffuse into whatever you’re cooking, adding an unexpected dimension of flavor to the dish.
7. LEMONS: Always keep a lemon or two in your kitchen. Lemon will improve the flavor of just about everything. Lemon zest will elevate the intensity of a lemony flavor, while lemon juice will add more tartness to a dish. Zest lemons before cutting and juicing them. Use fresh lemon juice, not bottled.
8. BUTTER: Make sure to read the recipe and follow the directions for using butter. Use melted butter when your recipe calls for melted butter. There is a chemical reason for using butter at various temperatures, and each will yield a different result. Avoid using a microwave to bring butter to room temperature.
9. BROWN BUTTER: If your recipe calls for butter, brown it over low heat first! Browned butter adds an unforgettable nuttiness to anything: especially baked goods, mashed potatoes, and popcorn.
10. SOAK garlic cloves in water overnight to make them easier to peel.
11. SOAK sliced or chopped onions in ice water to make them extra crispy and milder. Soak onions in vinegar to mellow their bite and make them sweeter.
12. BEFORE BRAISING cuts of red meat, brown them. This seals in the juices and creates a fond, which are the brown bits at the bottom of the pan that elevate a sauce from good to fantastic.
13. For better french fries: double fry them. First, cook them in a saturated stable fat (like beef lard) until softened and starting to brown. Then remove them, drain them, and return back to the fat to finish frying.
14. For better roasted potatoes: Cut and parboil them in salted water for 15 minutes. Drain them, season them, and roast with olive oil for 25-35 minutes at 400 degrees until crispy and golden, tossing halfway through.
15. For better mashed potatoes: If you’re making gravy or pan sauce, save some of that starchy cooking liquid before draining the potatoes. Add the drained potatoes back to the pot and allow them to dry out over very low heat (stirring consistently). Warm the cream or milk before adding. Add butter at room temp (not melted) in small increments as you are mashing the potatoes. This allows the butter to incorporate into the potatoes more completely.
16. For better smoothies: Peel and cut bananas into chunks and freeze them. This will make your smoothie colder, thicker, and smoother. It also gives your almost-bad bananas a chance to shine where they might’ve met the compost bin instead.
17. LEARN A VARIETY of cooking methods: steaming, sautéing, braising, and roasting, for example. Start with one technique at a time, and practice each technique with a variety of vegetables.
18. CLEAN as you go! It’s not very fun to clean up the whole mess after eating the delicious dinner you’ve prepared. Take micro breaks as you’re cooking to lighten the cleanup load at the end.
19. BLANCH TOMATOES and peel the skins to make a smoothly textured and flavored sauce.
20. SEASON AND TASTE as you go! Keep a dish of sea salt next to the stove so that you can season each layer of flavor you’re adding to the dish. Start lightly: you can always add more.
21. ALLOW meat and fish to rest for several minutes once removed from heat. Fish and meat continue to cook internally even after exposure to heat. Allowing the meat to rest gives the flavors within proteins time to settle. Meat that’s prematurely cut will lose flavorful juices, and these are the juices you want to keep. 
22. IF YOU BURN IT: If some or most of the dish is salvageable, scrape off the burnt parts. Then puree it into a soup. Throw it out or throw it in a crockpot to cook down to homemade food for your pet. Take a deep breath, and remember you can start again tomorrow.
23. IF YOU OVER-SALT IT: Add rice, potatoes, quinoa, more veggies or beans to soak up the extra salinity.
24. BLOOM: When making a dish with a bunch of ingredients or spices, add each ingredient incrementally and allow its flavor to bloom before adding the next ingredient or spice.
25. ADD SPICES before adding liquid, not after. Spices are fat-soluble and need to be incorporated with fat. Adding spices too late will cause them to pool to the top instead of blending properly into your dish. For example: add spices to your sautéing veggies when making chili; then, add the rest of the ingredients.
26. Use ONIONS AND GARLIC together, and add garlic during the last 30 seconds of cooking (or just before adding any liquid). Garlic is easy to burn and will make the whole dish taste bitter if it does.
27. TEST THE SEASONING of ground meat (burgers, meatballs, meatloaf, kabobs, etc) by pinching off a small bit of meat. Cook it in a sauté pan and taste. Adjust the whole yield accordingly (you can test this way as many times as it takes!).
28. BUY GREENS every time you shop and chop them as soon as you get home. Store them in an airtight container with a damp paper towel. That way you can throw in a handful of greens to whatever you’re cooking. It’ll quickly boost the nutrient-density of your meal.
29. USE FRESH HERBS liberally. When buying a bunch of parsley or cilantro, chop it all at once. Save whatever you don’t use first in an airtight container and add handfuls of herbs to whatever you’re cooking. Chopped herbs will last 3-4 days when stored properly.
30. EMBRACE the seasons. What’s in season now is what will taste the best. If you don’t know which vegetables are in season when, observe what looks the best and brightest at the market. Strawberries and tomatoes are most vibrant and abundant in the summertime. Squashes are gorgeous during the fall. Use your instincts to guide you toward the freshest seasonal produce. Your food will taste better when your ingredients are solid.
31. ACIDS: Get to know your acids. A splash of red wine vinegar or lemon juice goes a long way to elevating a dish. Different vinegars and citrus juices will lend a different effect, and you’ll learn to spot the difference with time and experience. Start with red wine vinegar. Venture to white wine, sherry, champagne, and balsamic vinegars. Fruit vinegars are often loaded with sugar. Use these sparingly. Add a bit of vinegar or citrus at the end of cooking, taste, and add more if necessary.
32. SWEETEN your dishes more creatively: for example, use honey, maple syrup, date paste, molasses, grated carrot, mashed banana and applesauce in baked goods. Alternative sweeteners lend a depth and complexity that regular cane sugar does not.
33. HOMEMADE VINAIGRETTES are simple to make and so much fresher than anything you can buy at the store. Learn to make a base vinaigrette with olive oil, vinegar, dijon mustard, salt, and pepper. From there, the sky’s the limit.
34. OBSERVE as you eat your own food, and the food of others: What do you love about this particular dish? Remember and even take notes. Ask the cook how they seasoned it, or what they did to make the texture just right. People love sharing knowledge and talking about what they’ve created. Nothing beats learning from fellow home cooks.
35. BE EASY on yourself. Cooking is a skill that takes practice, and practice requires mistakes to learn. Use these mistakes as opportunities to improve next time.

 

Contributors:

Jacqui Gabel is a nutrition therapist, chef instructor, and personal wellness chef in the greater Denver area. She lives to inspire connection, empowerment, and memory through food. Find her on IG: @realfooddesire 

Mason J. Spendow is a traveling retreat caterer and private chef based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His life’s work is to be a steward for the profound healing powers of food. Find out more about Mason at www.onpurposekitchen.com and IG: @onpurposekitchen

Ji Sun Chong loves to cook delicious food and eat to her heart’s content. She lives in Philadelphia and has gained inspiration through time living in Baltimore (her hometown), Washington DC, Maitland, Ontario, The Twin Cities, and Seoul. 

Tony Tushar spent over a decade working in James Beard award-winning kitchens where he learned how to tie together an appreciation for multi-cultured food and seasonal eating. He currently lives in Minneapolis and loves nourishing his family.

Linda Quillen is a retired nurse practitioner living in Lincoln, Nebraska. She is a lifelong cook who loves the challenge of cooking a new dish and learning new techniques to feed the people she loves.

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A little while back, I was talking to my friend Mike. We were, as I like to call it, “putting in the work” — meaning we were talking about deep stuff.

Goals. Insecurities. Fears.

Mike asked me why I thought I couldn’t commit in relationships. I said it is likely rooted in insecurity. An insecurity about the future of relationships as well as an insecurity of self.

“Insecurity of self?” he asked.

“Yea. Growing up, I was a goof. Late bloomer. I was rejected by women in high school. Deep down, there is a still a part of me that feels a need to be accepted by women. Especially attractive women. I need to earn and gain their approval.”

“And the other stuff?” he asked.

“Parents divorce. Mom cheated on my dad.”

And then Mike said something very interesting.

“You know, what you said is probably true. Those experiences do probably hold you back from connecting with women. But, at the same time, those same experiences are also likely the source of the best parts of you.”

Mike went on to tell me stories about how he was bullied growing up. How a kid two years younger than him threw him into a locker. He told the stories as if they’d happened yesterday.

“But you know what? It was those experiences that pushed me to get into bodybuilding. Bodybuilding got me into training. Training got me into coaching, which I love and has made me a lot of money. I mean look, we’re in a fucking villa on the beach that I paid for. Without the insecurity and pain from those experiences growing up, would I have had the fire to do any of that?”

As I thought about what Mike said, I realized he was right. Sometimes, the worst of what we experience creates the best of who we are.

If my mom never left my dad, would I have ever questioned things to the point where I decided to move to Korea? Probably not. And if I don’t make that leap, do I backpack through Asia or decide to move to Colombia? Probably not.

If I don’t go through a painful break-up, do I pour myself into surfing? Probably not.

My friend Drew is perhaps the best teacher I’ve ever been around. He LOVES his job. He cares deeply about seeing his students succeed. But the source of Drew’s passion for teaching does not come from supreme intelligence (sorry Drew). It comes from pain. His whole life, Drew struggled with school. He had to work twice as hard as most of our classmates just to get the same grade.

Those experiences are what make him such a wonderful teacher. He relates to the students who struggle. He feels their pain and wants badly to help them overcome the same obstacles he faced. Without his own struggles in school, does Drew’s passion exist? Probably not.

A few weeks back, I read Phil Knight’s memoir, Shoe Dog. In it, he talks about the sweatshop crisis Nike went through. In the early 1990’s Nike came under hot fire for the wages and conditions of the factories in which their shoes and apparel were made. Students across the country protested Nike. “The Nike product has become synonymous with slave wages, forced overtime, and arbitrary abuse,” Knight once said.

It was a very difficult time for the company, and for Knight.

In his book, Knight talks about the pain and frustration he felt. He spent his entire life creating a company, a brand, an idea…. that completely transcended sports. A business that connected countries and brought hundreds of thousands of jobs to developing countries. And then, he wakes up one day “seeing yourself burned in effigy outside the flagship store in your hometown.”

But from this difficult time came good. Nike did a full 180. They created the Fair Labor Association. They increased workers wages. They invented a water-based bonding agent that gave off no fumes and eliminated 97% of carcinogens in the air. Then they gave that invention to all of their competitors.

They also started “The Girl Effect” — a program that invests tens of millions of dollars in a global campaign to educate and connect and lift up young girls.

If the world didn’t criticize Nike and protest outside it’s retail stores and burn their products, would all of this have come to fruition? Would they have pushed themselves to ask how they could be better? Probably not.

Look at this past year. For all of the death and suffering that came from the pandemic, there was also a worldwide movement for social equality and justice. If we weren’t given a global re-set — if tens of millions of people didn’t have countless hours of free time to read and think and plan and organize — if life had been bustling forward at it’s normal pace; would the social justice movement have grown as quickly? Probably not.

The issue is that the benefits of turbulent times are often only realized much later on. As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that we’ve gotta love it all. Even the shitty stuff. Because through the worst times comes the best of who we are. You won’t know what the best will be. Again, the dots don’t connect forward, only backwards. But the best of you will be there, stirring and waking and boiling over, ready to come out.

Life won’t always be easy. There will be times when we don’t want to carry on and it becomes hard to maintain hope. So when you need something to trust in, trust in this very simple rule:

From the worst of what we experience, comes the best of who we are. 

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In nothing, everything.

I try to remind myself of this as often as I can.

I do this in two ways. The first is by reminding myself I know nothing. Not technically, but relatively.

I know nothing about the meaning of life or what happens when we die. I know nothing about the history of Afghanistan or how to use verbs in Hindu or about sacred Inca ceremonies. I know nothing about you and the unique sequence of experiences that have led to you being right here, reading this sentence. Nor do I know a thing about the unique experiences that have brought the other 7 billion people on the planet to where they are at this moment right now.

In terms of the total information about the world that I possess, it’s like:

0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%.

It’s likely smaller, but you get the idea.

This reminder creates an infinite space for learning. I ask more questions. My ego sheds and my mind opens, allowing me listen to what people are saying instead of contemplating a response that makes me look knowledgable.

This reminder also humbles me. It allows me to look silly and to ask questions that start with “Actually, I have no idea, what is….”

It might seem counter productive to learning to be walking around telling people you know nothing, but in fact, it’s the opposite. This type of humility endears you to people and amplifies their willingness to help you. You become a breath of fresh air, the one person admitting something we all know, but never say.

The more someone tries to tell me how much they know or how wrong I am, the more comforted I am. Because anyone who thinks they know a lot really doesn’t know shit. Those who say, do not know. Those who know, do not say.

My second reminder is that nothing is mine.

Phone, apartment, clothes, motorcycle, surfboard. I may be in possession of these things for awhile, but none of them are mine. Eventually, I will sell them or lose them or break them. Everything, including my body and my mind, is on lease.

As an exercise to reinforce this reminder, I give things away. Usually things I like. I give away shirts I like. I lend my possessions freely and let people stay in my apartment rent-free. I do not do this as much as I could, but I try.

By separating myself from my possessions and sharing more, I am able to better connect with others. This increases my overall happiness more than the guarding my possessions ever has. It’s a strange phenomenon, but I have noticed that the more I give, the more I receive. The more you give, the more the universe finds ways to fill your cup back up.

At first, this mindset might seem limiting to growth, but the reality is the opposite. Accepting that nothing is mine creates a world in which everything is mine. By accepting that nothing is mine, or yours, or anybody’s, everything becomes mine and yours and everybody’s.

If nothing is mine, then nothing is yours too. Or hers. Or his. And since nothing is ours, all of it is. This does mean I’m entitled to your stuff or that I get to take it. But it does mean I can have what you have.

For too long, I lived with a scarcity mindset, assuming because someone else had, it meant I could not. I guarded what I had, fearful that if I lost it, it meant I might never get in back. By realizing nothing is mine, or yours; that it’s all ours, flowing to us and through us and from us; I believe more in what I can receive. Whatever anyone has will eventually leave them. Why can’t it come in my direction?

The first step of possession is belief. I am sure, by way of reminder number one, there exists some fruit in Africa I’ve never heard of. And since I’ve never heard of this fruit, it’s impossible for me to believe in it. And since I do not believe in this fruit, I don’t think about it or ask for it or search for it on Amazon. And because I do not do these things, I cannot possess this fruit.

By realizing that nothing is really anyone’s — it’s all on loan — I believe more in what I can receive. I believe I can have what others have and begin to ask for it. I also believe in what I can give. That I can be a source of what others what without experiencing loss.

This acceptance has helped my mindset shift from “I’m going to guard my 50 acorns ” to “holy shit there are 50,000,000,000 acorns we can all share.” It has removed any shame I have of accumulating wealth, or of sharing it. Instead of focusing on protecting, I focus on gathering.

In a nice twist of fate, adapting a gatherer mindset attracts me to other gatherers, to other people whose beliefs align with mine. This only increases my ability to gather. Like attracts like.

Most importantly, these reminders help keep my fear in check. 90% of my what I fear stems from a fear of loss. Loss of life or home or reputation or money or family or job or quality of life. The more I remember that it all eventually goes, the less I fear loss and the more I focus on appreciating and enjoying what I have, while I have it.

Just some ramblings. Maybe they’ll make sense to you. Maybe not.

Like I said in the beginning, what do I know?

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Can you see me?

Maybe it’s easier now. Now that your job isn’t so secure and the economy isn’t doing so well and the money isn’t flowing in.

That’s usually how discovery makes its entrance. It likes to follow elimination. 

When you watch the news, can you feel me come and go? Can you see how politicians and news networks trade me? How, at the end of the day, I am the currency that the government will manufacture $2 trillion to keep? The currency that businesses want. The currency the stock market needs. 

Still not seeing it?

OK. Let’s try a riddle. Here goes…

 

“Everyone needs me and everyone has me. Some have more than others.

The amount you have can be determined by the family you were born into, the color of your skin, your level of experience in what you are doing, your sex and even your sexual orientation.

You can gain or lose me quickly.

The amount of me that you feel you have can change in relation to how much the people around you have. If you are with people who have a lot of me, you will feel like you have little. If you are with people who have little of me, you will feel like you have a lot. 

What am I?”

 

It’s possible that your answer was money. And you’d be right. Money checks all the boxes. 

But I am not Money. I am Confidence, Money’s invisible cousin. You can go through the riddle again. You’ll find that I also check the boxes. 

And the reason that there are so many similarities between me and my cousin Money is because we’re both from the same family.

We’re both Currencies.

The only real difference between the two of us is that I am completely invisible. I am not a currency you count and save and stack. I am a currency you feel.

Hard for you to believe in an invisible currency? Then ask yourself this: 

How much of the money you receive do you actually physically touch?

Now I am not the most important of the Currencies — that honor goes to Father Time — but I’m definitely more important than Money. In fact, in the currency cycle of life, money comes after I do. It exists because I exist. 

And unlike my cousin Money, you have the ability to create me whenever you want. 

Not convinced?

Ok, let me see what I can do. 

 

Confidence and Money

 

When you hear the word “currency” your first thoughts are probably of money. Of dollars and Euros and pesos. 

But the truth is that anything can technically be a currency. 

Before the government-backed currencies you use now, people traded gold and silver coins. In Africa, tribal groups used large copper and bronze bracelets called Manillas as their form of money. 

Before coins and metal objects, it was physical things that had a real-world use value. Things that were always in demand and easy to trade. Things like salt and fur pelts. In fact, at the peak of the fur trade in Canada, fur pelts were not only a currency but also the unit of measure used by the Hudson Bay Company to keep their books.   

 

 

But the history of currencies isn’t important. The important thing is that you see that just about anything can be a currency. As long as there is enough confidence and belief in what is being traded, as long as people believe it has value, then anything can be a currency. 

The current monetary system, the FIAT system, exists because of your unique human ability to believe in things beyond yourself. Because of your imagination. Because of your ability to mentally place value in things that you cannot physically touch, see and smell.

When your employer deposits $2,000 into your checking account, you know that their bank is not sending a magical elf in a magical car with $2,000 physical dollars to your bank. 

The transaction is digital. Numbers on screens and in clouds. 

And it’s all possible because you, your employer and your respective banks all buy in. Because you believe that seeing +$2,000 on a computer screen is the same as having $2,000 placed in your hand. And because you believe that having $2,000 in your hand is actually worth something. 

To be honest, without Confidence, money ain’t shit. It is literally worthless. 

Here’s a story to illustrate this point. 

Imagine that you are trekking through a jungle. You hear what sounds like a waterfall and decide to wander off the path in search of it. You slap and hack your way through the wildlife and, with one final pull of your hands, part the branches to reveal a majestic, multi-tiered waterfall. 

And then you see it. Right along the left edge of one of the larger pools created by the waterfall. A tiger,  calmly drinking water. The tiger looks up and spots you. It changes its body position and begins to growl. 

 

 

All of a sudden, you are face to face with a tiger that is very ready to kill you. 

And then, in a stroke of good fortune, the heavens open and God himself comes down and decides to help. He says he will give you one of three things to help you in your time of need.

Five pounds of steak, three pounds of pure steel shaped however you’d like or $1,000,000 cash. 

What would you choose? 

To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what you would choose. All that matters is that we agree that you probably ain’t choosing the $1,000,000. 

And why not? The cash is easily the most valuable of the three options, right? 

Wrong. 

And it’s because the tiger doesn’t believe in money. In the raw, natural, physical world money has no use value. The tiger can’t eat it or drink it, so what does the tiger care about $1,000,000? And without confidence, without a shared belief in the value of $1,000,00, all that cash becomes exposed for what it really is: 

A bunch of paper that smells funny. 

In the weeks that Congress spent trying to figure out how to boost the national economy, one wild idea put forth by US Representative Rashida Tlaib was to have the US Mint create two $1 trillion coins from pure platinum. The idea was that the US Treasury would buy the coins from the mint at face value and the US Mint, now $2 trillion richer, would then be able to distribute their newfound wealth to US businesses and citizens.

“But,” you ask “how can a single platinum coin be worth $1 trillion?”

Good question, now we’re getting there.

It is all because of belief. 

The costs to produce a quarter, a $1 bill and a $100 bill are about the same. According to the US Federal Reserve, a $1 bill costs $0.05 to produce, a quarter $0.08 and a $100 bill about $0.14.

Here is a chart showing the costs compared to the perceived market value. Blue is costs and orange is market value: 

 

 

So why, if it costs more to make a quarter than it does a $1 bill, is the $1 bill worth 4X more? 

Or why, if it costs the about the same as it does to produce a quarter, is the $100 worth 400X more? 

 

 

Because we all agree on it. 

Look at Bitcoin. Ever wonder how can one “coin” from an invisible currency that runs on a digital network few people truly understand be worth more than $9,000? 

Because enough people believe in Bitcoin. Enough people have confidence in cryptocurrency and in the capabilities and security of the technology that powers Bitcoin’s network.

So can you see now?

Can you see how, without Confidence, those paper currencies you love so much go all Venezualan Bolivar and people begin using money for paper mache. 

Yea, you might not be able to see me or touch me… but so what. 

Remember, with currencies, it’s all about believing. 

 

Sharing Confidence

 

So, why does it matter that you see confidence as a currency? Why is it important that you see the effect that confidence has on money? 

Because right now, confidence is the currency that we need more than anything. The world’s governments are doing their part to make sure there is enough money. But the silent killer of this pandemic is not the virus as much as it is the uncertainty the virus has brought with it.

“Do I have the virus?” “Am I asymptomatic?” “ Will I lose my job?” “How long will this shutdown last?”

The world is in a serious Confidence deficit. And it’s going to be up to the masses to balance out the ledger. 

“But,” you ask, “how can I create confidence?”

Just follow the government’s lead. 

Do you want to know how the US government came up with the $2 trillion for the recent America CARES stimulus package? They made it up. Congress passed a bill and sent instructions to the Federal Reserve, our government’s bank, who then went into their computer and with a few clicks, manufactured $2 trillion USD.

Don’t believe me? 

Here is a fantastic clip from 2009 with former head of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernake explaining how the US Federal Reserve “simply used the computer to mark up the size of the account,” in order to fund a stimulus package:

For those who might be wondering, “Where did the Federal Reserve get the $1.5 trillion they just committed to injecting?”
A blast from the past explanation of how it all works. 💻 pic.twitter.com/wCQUwni8El

— Stephanie Kelton (@StephanieKelton) March 12, 2020

Thankfully, the same is true for confidence. When we need it, we can make it up.

Humans are strange creatures. We have these wonderful brains. These brains that have the power to invent and believe in abstract things like money. Brains that allow us to receive and filter and decipher information at warp speed.

And yet, for whatever reason, we love to direct the power of our brains toward the negative. 

Scientists refer to this phenomenon as our “negativity bias.” Our negativity bias is what leads us to put more value in negative information than we do positive information. It is why it’s easier for us to remember an insult than it is to remember a compliment.

It’s why the majority of the news we read about and see is negative. Media companies know that we are naturally drawn to negativity. That we’ll click on an article talking about what is wrong with the world before we’ll click on an article talking about what’s good about it. 

So the first step to manufacturing confidence is to not indulge your negativity bias too much. To check yourself and to watch what you are reading and saying to others. 

It’s OK to accept that this is a serious situation with very real consequences. But it is not OK to over-indulge your negativity bias in hypothetical “maybes” and “it’s possible” and “what if’s” about how many people will die and how long the shutdown will last and what the long-term economic ramifications will be. 

This is what every single person’s reaction should be to questions about this pandemic:

 

 

Because the truth is that you don’t know shit. Nobody does. 

So stop spreading stories about what could happen or what you heard might happen. Stop using the expression “Stay safe,” at the end of emails and when you exit people’s company. Stop talking about what you “heard.” 

Focus on today. Focus on what you have right now and what you can do with the only time any of us are ever given in life. The present. 

Analyze your situation for what it is, not what it might be or could, and only worry when it is time to worry. 

 

The second step is to remember who the fuck you (and we) are. 

We are the ones who removed ourselves from the food chain. We are the only creatures who have flown to the moon and dove to the depths of the sea and invented vehicles that allow us to move across land faster than a cheetah, all without even using our legs.

Take some comfort in our track record. 

We have, time and again, bounced back from wars and pandemics and natural disasters. In fact, the last time we had a pandemic, the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918 and 1919, we bounced right back into the Roaring 20’s.

This is a difficult time. But know that we are going to be alright. That we will bounce back. It’s what we humans do. 

And after you give us some credit, take some time to do the same for yourself.

Take some time to think back on all of the challenges and difficulties that you have overcome in your life. The times when your future was uncertain. And then remember that you made it. That you figured it out. 

 

Step three is to stop diminishing what you do. 

We all have a tendency to live in our own heads. To become preoccupied with our own reality. 

Which is fine. It’s normal. But it leads us to subconsciously under-value ourselves and what we can do by overestimating how many people can do the same things we can. 

We assume that because we can do this and because we have had that experience, that so too has the majority of the population.

“I can do it, so obviously everyone else can right?”

Wrong. 

A few weeks ago, I spoke at a marketing conference. The night before I spoke, I was worried. I felt like I was under-qualified and what I was going to say was obvious and not worth people’s time. 

But I spoke anyway. And after my speech, no fewer than two dozen people came up to me to let me know how eye-opening my speech had been for them. About how much they had learned. 

After the conference, I was talking with a good friend who was also the host of the summit. I asked him if these summits ever rejuvenated his confidence in the work he was doing. If he felt more valuable afterwards. 

“Totally,” he said. “Totally man. It’s crazy how much we undervalue ourselves. How much we take what we know and what we can do for granted.”

Don’t take yourself for granted. You have value. Your random skills have value. And the internet is making it easier and easier to monetize them.

Here’s an example that might help you see the bigger picture. When I was preparing my presentation for the conference, I decided to search for someone to help beautify my presentation. What I found AMAZED me.

Did you know there are people on the site www.upwork.com, charging more than $100/ HOUR (hour!!) to edit Powerpoint presentations. And not only are they charging it, they are getting it (I underlined the rate and circled the total amount earned on the site below):

 

 

Believe that even if you lose your job and governments stop giving out money like it’s Halloween, your experiences and abilities have value in the market. 

 

Step four, watch your mouth. 

Confidence is most often manufactured in what we say. Be mindful of the conversations you have. Be mindful of the information you are choosing to share with other people. 

You can choose to talk about the number of new cases and how many people have died each day.

Or you can choose to talk about the hundreds of thousands of people who have recovered. You can talk about how there are signs that Italy’s quarantine is working and that the number of new cases might be on the decline. 

You can talk about the fact that the survival rate for this virus is likely over 98%. Or how it’s possible, considering how long China covered this up and how quickly this virus spreads and how so many people seem to be asymptomatic, that way more people have already been infected. That the mortality rate might actually be much lower. It might not. It might be higher. But will we ever really know? 

You can choose to focus on how hospitals are running out of equipment and the immense stress that nurses and doctors are working under. 

Or you can choose to talk about how society is STEPPING UP. About how beautiful it is that we are all literally pausing our lives for the collective good. About what a unifying experience this is. 

You can choose to talk about how people are hand-knitting masks and delivering free meals and setting up food drives. About how MIT professors and students just released the plans for a ventilator that can be manufactured for less than $100. About how we are already adapting. About how we are finding new ways to communicate and work together and adjust to this new norm. 

You can choose to talk about the long-term financial impact that this might have on the economy. 

Or you can choose to talk about how it’s possible that historically, this might go down as a three-month economic pause. A time when credit card payments and loans were deferred and governments gave people a little money and we all hunkered down and took a collective break from being, doing and going. 

You can choose to think about all the money you aren’t making. 

Or you can choose to talk about all the money you’re saving. About how this could serve as a great budgeting exercise for you. 

You can choose to talk about how bored you are and how being laid off sucks. 

 

Or you can talk about how we have all have gained a tremendous amount of life’s most valuable currency:

Time. 

 

Time to think and read and plan and be with family. Time to peel back the layers of bullshit that get thrown upon us and to remember what is truly important in life. 

You can talk about how this shutdown might last for months. Or you can talk about how spring is upon us and studies have shown that coronaviruses are weakened by warmer weather.

You get to choose. Will it be confidence, or fear, that comes out of your mouth? 

 

Step five is to show confidence. 

Times are tight for a lot of people. But they ain’t tight for everyone.

For those of you who are still working and who have some disposable income, now is not your time to start pinching pennies.

Assess your situation. Have you really lost that much money? Are things that bad? If not, then look for ways to use some of your money to support those around you.

Order take-out from your favorite restaurants. Tip a little bit more than normal. When you do go to shop, make an effort to seek out local businesses. The corporations will be fine. Now is when your community needs you more than ever. 

 

---

 

Now, you don’t have to believe any of this. You can choose to reject the idea that confidence is a currency. You can choose to be cynical and to prepare for the worst and to indulge yourself in hypotheticals. 

But this pandemic is going to end. And 99.5% of us are going to be responsible for moving on when it does.

And the key to moving on is the same as the key to creating currencies:

It’s all about what you choose to believe. 

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I believe there is a core to every person’s personality.

An unchangeable part of our character that carries over through the different seasons of our lives. While we might change how we dress or talk or maybe even act, this core part of us remains the same.

Part of my core character is that I am selfish. Always have been, likely always will be. As the controversial Hall of Fame wide receiver Terrell Owens once said:

 

 

 

I was never the kid passing out pizza slices at birthday parties. I was the one counting slices, making sure that I got my fair share and angling for how I could get more.

I do not admit my selfishness proudly, merely factually.

My life right now, the life of the wandering nomad, is built around me. I have no kids or spouse or pet to consider. I live far from my family, physically removing me from the day-to-day and week-to-week commitments that come with being a part of any family. My life revolves around me and my wants. I go where I want, when I want. If I want to do something, I do it. If I don’t, I don’t.

Earlier this year, I came to the conclusion that my selfishness was a major cause for my unhappiness.

My selfishness caused me to lose a woman that I loved just about as much as I have loved anyone ever. It cost me the best job I ever had. It isolated me from people. It propelled me inward, into the depths of my own head.

I was depressed, and my selfishness was part of the reason why.

So I decided to make a conscious effort to try to live less selfishly. I knew had the selfish part down. Now I needed to learn how to become that which I was not.

Here are a few ways that I worked to train myself to step outside of my own head and put others before me. But before we get to the list, I want to make a couple quick editorial notes:

 

• I know that it is selfish for me to purposely do unselfish acts in order to make myself happier. But on some level, we are all selfish, solitary creatures and our actions will be prompted by our own needs. If the worst thing I do this month is deliberately look for ways to put others before myself so that I can find happiness, I am cool with that.

 

• I purposely avoided any actions involving money. While I know that money is important and something that a lot of people need, I also think that any generous act involving money is a quick fix that doesn’t require much thought. The goal here was to get myself into the habit of consciously thinking of others before myself. So while leaving a nice tip or picking up the dinner check for a group of friends is a very generous and selfless thing to do, they are both also quick actions that don’t require much conscious thought or action.

 

• I have deliberately excluded volunteering from this list. I did this for a couple reasons:

1. • It’s the most obvious answer. I think it is quite clear to just about everyone that reads this post that one of the most unselfish things you can do is give yourself. For the sake of presenting new ideas, I wanted to steer away from volunteering. If there is any doubt in your mind as to whether you should volunteer, let me be the first to tell you that, yes, you should. 
   • Volunteering opportunities can be time-consuming, difficult to fit into a busy calendar and dependent on outside organizations. I wanted to focus on actions that I could control, implement quickly and that weren’t dependent on whether or not the local soup kitchen decided to host the Thanksgiving potluck or not.

 

Ok. Editorial note over. Let’s get to it.

 

1. Foster an animal

 

About six weeks ago, two friends approached me about the possibility of my watching a street dog that they had been looking after. We were in Sayulita, Mexico, a small beach pueblo along the Pacific Ocean that has  no shortage of street dogs. My friends were headed to Bali, which meant that they wouldn’t be able to watch Gary anymore.

Named Gary after SpongeBob Squarepants’ mindless pet, Gary is not a dog that was going to make it long-term on the streets. He was all heart and no brains. All love and no fight. He ran from conflict faster than just about any dog I had ever seen.

My friends in Sayulita had found a family in Canada that wanted to to adopt Gary, but they were waiting for the weather to cool down so that it would be safe for Gary to fly in the cargo hold of an airplane.

I reluctantly agreed, thinking that the arrangement would be for a week or two. I ended up having the Gar-Bear for more than a month.

Gary gave me something to think about besides myself.

I had to schedule my days and nights around making sure I got home to let him out. I had to make time each morning to take him to the beach to play. I had to feed him and give him water and clean up his cuts after he would run away get his ass kicked by other dogs on the street.

There were times that Gary was an inconvenience. He was a street dog at heart and liked to roam, which meant there were times when I would spend 30 minutes just trying to corral him into my apartment. Gary also liked to eat trash, which meant I spent lots of time picking up trash from random bags Gary tore into.

A lot of my time with Gary that was all about him. About me cleaning him or cleaning up after him or feeding him or helping him to make sure that he was good.

But there was also a lot about my time with Gary that brought me joy. When I would lay down at night to read, I had a new cuddle buddy:

I had someone to play fetch with at the beach. I met people because of Gary. Women loved him. Kids’ faces lit up when they threw a stick down the beach and Gary would sprint after it.

There are animals all over who could use some love. Someone to look after them and give them shelter and food while a better situation waits to present itself. Fostering an animal is a great temporary way to give yourself something that is beyond you.

 

2. Listen

 

Be the listener you want to hear. This is the mantra I have written into my journal each day.

This might seem like a silly tip, and an easy thing to do, but you’d be surprised. In fact, I challenge you to have a conversation with someone where you go 15 minutes without:

a) Checking your phone (you aren’t listening when you do this)

b) Interjecting with a comment that is about you, your life or something that happened to you. Super-duper bonus points if you don’t use the word “I”

We are, at least in the United States, in the midst of time when the people in our country are just about as unhappy as they have been in more than 40 years.

Don’t believe me?

Here is a chart from the 2019 World Happiness Report tracking general happiness among US adults:

 

As you can see, things are trending downwards.

And if we follow the World Health Organization’s classification that depression and unhappiness are not medical conditions, but rather an indicator of unmet needs, I would argue that an un-met need for a lot of people is having someone to listen to them.

Smartphones are obliterating active listening skills. They give us an immediate out, an instant place to go when we are bored or having a conversation that doesn’t focus on what we want to talk about.

There is nothing more important to each of us than the story of our life. It is the most important story we will ever know. And there is nothing more satisfying than when we share our story with someone who is actually interested and actively hearing what we have to say.

Be the listener you want to hear. It’s just about the most selfless thing you can do.

For those of you out of practice when it comes to listening, here are some tips:

• Shut up.  Let the person you are talking with fill the silent gaps. When you feel the need to talk, don’t.

 

• Ask follow-up questions. People usually have a lot to say, but they need to be encouraged to do so. If your initial probe is met with a one line answer, start again. Asking questions that follow up a story or a comment are a great way to encourage people to open up.

 

• Sometimes, the thing that someone really wants to talk about will be mentioned in an off-hand comment, something like “And then they did some really fucked up shit, and I had to….” Ask follow-up questions to these off-hand comments. Ask what the fucked-up thing was. These are important parts to this person’s story. It is not rude to ask someone personal questions. If someone doesn’t want to tell you something, they won’t. But most people will want to. Vocalizing what happens to us is a great way to process. Think about how you feel when something big / awful / impactful happens to you. You want to talk about it. To work shit out. Other people do too.

 

• Turn your phone off. You can’t check it if it’s not on… 

 

3. Serve Yourself Last

 

I love to eat. Like really love to eat.

As soon as I finish one meal, I immediately begin thinking about what my next will be. I eat enthusiastically and voraciously. Anyone who knows me knows this. One thing that I have been working on doing (strong emphasis on the working on) is to make a conscious effort to fill my plate or cup last.

I have a friend Joel, who, while selfish in his own ways, is also one of the most thoughtful and considerate people I know.

Joel and I recently went to dinner at a delicious Thai restaurant with 13 other people. As often happens at Thai restaurants, we ordered numerous dishes for everyone to share.

I noticed that Joel took the time to serve everyone around him and make sure everyone else got to try the entrees that were being passed around before he served himself. If we ran out of a particular dish and someone hadn’t tried it, he was quick to order another one.

In contrast to the rest of us, who ate like famished savages, Joel’s approach seemed to be just about the most selfless thing to do at the time.

Everyone likes to eat. It is not only essential to survival, but it is a very enjoyable thing for most people. Especially when the food and wine are good. Serve others before yourself. It is a good mental check to remind yourself to put others before you.

 

4. Give Compliments

 

This is an easy one and it isn’t.

Everyone loves a compliment. As author Dale Carnegie wrote in his famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People:

“In our interpersonal relationships we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. It is the legal tender that all souls enjoy.”

But nobody likes to feel babied or as if someone is kissing their ass just to make them feel good.

Compliments only work when they come from a place of purity. When they are not contrived. When they are something you actually feel.

Have you ever noticed something you liked about someone — their shoes, their jacket, the way they danced, how they interacted with their kids — and not said anything because you were too shy?

Of course you have. We all have.

These are the compliments you need to give. Even if it means talking to a complete stranger. Even if it means saying something that might not be normal for you to say to someone you have just met. Something like, “Wow, you look really beautiful in that dress.”

It does not matter how embarrassed you feel or how shy you are. Remember, this is not about you. This is about the other person.

What’s nice is that compliment giving is a Maslov-esque trick that will help get you to focus outwardly. Here’s how it works:

 

 

Most of the time, when you give someone a compliment, they will respond with a smile. And that smile is going to make you feel you good. It’s going to remind you that that’s what we are all here for, to connect with one another. And since it felt good, and since we all like to feel good, your brain is going to sub-consciously search for more compliments so that it can get more smiles and connect some more. And in your search for compliments, your focus will move outward, and away from yourself, which will help you to think about others and connect with other people even more.

 

5. Give Up Control

 

Now, before I get into this last one, I know there are a lot of people out there who need control of their world in order to survive. In order to help them recover, cope with or get over a particularly traumatic experience.

I am not talking to those people here. If you need to micromanage your day in order to make it through the day, you go ahead and control your world as you need to.

For everyone else… a great indicator for selfishness is control.

Selfish people like to be in control.

They like to make the plans and know the plans and have the ability to adjust the plans because then they can make sure that the plans, whatever they may be, will include what they want to do. Or that the plans will fit within a schedule that they had planned out.

I know this because this is what I do.

Let go of your plans. Forget your routine or what you normally do or what wanted to do or whatever you had planned in your mind.

Let the group decide. Let other people take the lead. Ride that wave and see where it takes you.

Even if the group you are with wants to do something that throws your personal routine off or is something you really don’t want to do, go with it anyway.

Don’t be the one to balk or interject or try to change the plans.

Know that if an option is on the table, at least one person in the group wants to do that thing and that this is a great opportunity to be there for that person to help them enjoy what they want to do.

You do not always need to volunteer for strangers in order to give yourself. You can give yourself to your friends and loved ones simply by being there to do the things that they want to do, even when you don’t want to do them.

 

Grand Conclusion

 

I once read that “if you are unhappy, it is likely because you are thinking about yourself.”

I think that this is just about the most true thing that I have ever read when it comes to happiness. Practicing selflessness is not only a great way to give to others, it is also a fabulous way to connect, step outside of your own head and feel better.

If you are feeling unhappy or as if something is missing from your life, try focusing your energy outward instead of inward. Find ways to selflessly give yourself to other people. Go connect.

It’s what we evolved to do.

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Note: This is Part 2 of a five-part series on why high school graduates in the United States should skip college. If you aren’t young and you aren’t planning to go to school, that’s cool. Please read on. There is value in this piece for anyone interested in traveling.

 

“But H.I., you’re young and you’ve got your health, what you want with a job?”

Evelle, played by William Forsythe, from the movie Raising Arizona.

 

I know, I know.

A middle class white guy talking about traveling. How everyone needs to do it. How beneficial it is. Life-changing n’ shit. 

How original right?

Look, I know that I have lived a blessed life. I am aware that I cannot even begin to imagine the struggles that some young people go through.  

But honestly, if you are thinking about attending college and you are not 100% dependent on financial aid and scholarships, you should really consider traveling instead.  

If you are in a situation where you are 100% (or even 90%) dependent on financial aid and scholarships for college, you are likely in a tough spot and won’t be able to save money on a monthly basis in order to travel. In this case, you just need to get the eff out of where you are and college is likely your best bet. Go to school. 

But if not, and you have the ability to save some scrilla’ each month, not only is there no better teacher than long-term travel, but it is also significantly cheaper than even just a year in college.

With a little hard work, some planning and a little creativity, a nice long-term trip (2-3 months +) can be done for about $5,000.

Scroll to the end and I will give you a step-by-step plan on how to make this happen.

This is not too shabby for a live, hands-on, fun-as-hell masterclass in adventure, humanity and culture. 

As Mark Twain once wrote:

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

Translation: You gotta see the world before you can understand it. And you must experience it before you begin to find your place in it.

It’s downright silly to be 18 years old and to expect to know what to do with your life.  

There is a reason why most Scandinavian countries – you know, the part of the world that had the TOP SIX happiest populations according to the 2017 World Happiness Report – encourage young people to take at least one year off to travel before attending university.

Traditional thinking might lead some people to tell you that traveling is just an excuse for you to fuck off and forget about “the real world.”

And these people (whoever they may be) would be right.

So? 

You’re only young once. If you have the chance, you might as well enjoy it. 

There will always be time for college and houses and cars and bills and families and all of the responsibilities that come with adult life.

Plus, if you think about it, college is the same “fuck off and forget about the real world” experience as traveling. Very little about lush college campuses resembles “the real world.”  

So, if you are a high-school student uncertain about what to do after graduation, here are a few reasons why I think long-term traveling, and not going directly to college, is the best way for you to invest your time.

 

1) Traveling opens your mind to the possibility that you don’t know it all 

 

Ignorance comes from arrogance.

One of the keys to learning is being able to admit that you don’t know it all. Or even a lot. Once you do this, it becomes much easier to you listen and receive information with an open mind.

Traveling makes you less certain about how much you know because it shows you just how big the world is and just how little you know about it.

Every country, every culture and every new person you meet while traveling will introduce you to something new. 

I remember sitting in a small bar in Seoul, South Korea with two friends from Ireland. One of them had recently returned from Cambodia and they were talking about the killing fields in Phnom Penh and the Khmer Rouge. 

“What?” I asked. 

“The Khmer Rouge,” one of them replied. 

“What’s that?”

You’re kidding, right?” one of them blurted out. 

“Nope. What’s the Khmer Rouge? Some kind of a place?” I asked. 

“The Khmer Rouge was a commy group en Cambodia that killed millins’ of peeple sham,” my other friend answered. “They killed anyon ey’ considered was intellectual. They threw babies inta’ trees, forced teenagers inta’ labor camps… It’s considered one of the worst genocides ever.” 

“Oh,” I said as I quickly sipped my beer.  

It’s good to feel this type of “damn I am a total dummy” embarrassment.

It’s humbles you.

And this humbling is the first step towards accepting that you don’t know as much as you thought you did. Which is important because once you eliminate your own ego from the equation, your ability to learn, no matter if it is in a college classroom or in a small bar on a cold Friday night, improves greatly. 

 

2) Traveling forces change

 

“To improve is to change, to perfect is to change often”

– Winston Churchill 

As humans, we naturally avoid change. We don’t like it. We want to follow the path of least resistance and do what is familiar.

Traveling forces change.

The obvious change is the change in scenery.

But once you are traveling, unless you decide to stay in one hotel room all day and order cheeseburgers for every meal, you will eventually have to do things that are new for you. 

You will sleep in strange places. You will travel differently, eat different foods and follow different cultural norms. You will be forced to do step outside your comfort zone.  

And through it all, you will eventually come to the realization that “Hey, this works too.”  That different isn’t so bad. That foods you might never considered trying are actually delicious. That what you feared wasn’t that scary after all. That maybe the way you do things in your country isn’t the best way.

Change is one of the only constants in life. No matter what, things will change. How you look, who your friends are, what you do for work… 

Learning to be adaptable will help you, no matter where you go or what you do. And there is no better place to learn how to adapt than while traveling.

 

3) Traveling offers more (and better) experiences

 

We are the sum of what we experience. Each experience we have; good, bad and everything in-between; alters who we are and our perspective of the world. The more experiences we have, the more detailed our view becomes. 

So much is made of the experience of going to college. But comparing the experiences you get from attending college to the experiences you get while traveling is like comparing a little league baseball team to the 1927 New York Yankees.

There is no communications course in existence whose curriculum can replicate the experience of having to communicate with someone who speaks 0% of the same language as you. 

There is no college campus whose beauty can match the streets of Lisbon or the temples of Bagan or the valleys of Patagonia.

There is no culinary class that can replicate the smells and sounds and flavors of the night markets in Thailand. 

And for those of you reading this who equate “experiencing” with “partying”…. trust me when I say there is no fraternity party that can match the vibe found in a Colombian salsa bar on a Saturday night. I’ve had better parties and met more interesting people staying in hostels than I ever did during my entire two years in a dorm.  In most countries around the world the drinking age is 18 and drugs are readily accessible.

If want to tear the club up, you can. 

 

4) Travel toughens you up

 

Life is what it is. There are certain things we just cannot change. 

Learning to accept what we cannot change and focus our energy on what we can is another one of those crucial life skills. 

There are all kinds of frustrating things that happen to you while you are traveling. Overnighters in airports. Bus delays. Over-bookings. Lost possessions. 

I have had 18 hour bus rides turn into 38 hour debacles where the entire bus of passengers ended up riding in the back of a semi-trailer.

I have had my passport stolen two days before a scheduled cross-Atlantic flight.

I have gotten deathly ill on day 2 of a 4 day trek through the Peruvian Andes and had to have a friend walk with me step-by-step to the finish line.

I have shivered myself to sleep for weeks in the freezing cold of Patagonia in a sleeping bag that ended at my shoulders. 

And while each of these experiences sucked, I am a much better person because of them. I accepted the circumstances and persevered. I am tougher, more patient, more self-sufficient and calmer in the face of difficulty. 

 

5) Traveling is twice as educational and twice as fun 

 

I hate running. There are few things in the world I would rather do less than go for a long run. But I play basketball three times a week. And basketball involves a lot of running. 

So why do I play basketball if I hate running?

Because when I play basketball I’m not thinking about the fact that I am running. I am too busy having fun. I am talking trash or playing defense or thinking about how I can get to the hoop. 

This is how it is with traveling and personal growth.

You will grow exponentially as a person from your travels, but you will be having too much fun to even realize it.

In fact, most of the changes you see in yourself will not be realized until after your trip. There will be too many cool places to visit and new foods to try and interesting people to talk to and great parties to throw yourself into. 

I have yet to meet one person who has regretted their decision to move abroad or to go travel. None. It just doesn’t happen. 

Why? 

Because traveling is the shit. 

 

Final arguments

 

Here is my final point. 

I have yet to talk with an elderly person about my travels and have them respond negatively. Their responses are almost always along the lines of:

“Oh, how interesting. Good for you.”

“You go do it, enjoy your time being young.”

Old people get it. They are close to death and they know just how important it is to live.

So for all 18-year olds out there without a post high-school plan, stop worrying about having a plan for life and take a couple years to just enjoy it.

You are as young, energetic, attractive and physically fit as you may ever be. Don’t waste this gift. 

You won’t be able to hike or surf or party in your 60’s like you can in your 20’s. You won’t be able to date or dance in your 60’s as you can in your 20’s. Your youth is a fleeting commodity. Make the most of it.

 

How to Travel the World with $5,000

 

To get crackin’, there are really only two things you need to do.

1) Save money.

Download a budgeting app, set goals and stick to them. Work two jobs. Three, if you have to. You are going to have the time of your life on this trip, but nothing worth having in life is free. This is where the hard work comes in.

Before I left to travel to South America, I worked as a substitute Spanish teacher (I spoke zero Spanish), a server (I once spilled an entire glass of red wine on a woman), a bartender and as a barback at a Tiki bar.

You can have zero shame when it comes to finding and applying for jobs. You’re not too cool, you’re not too good and I guarantee that just about any job you take is gonna teach you something.

Jobs where you can make cash tips are great because you can make an extra 30% on every cash tip because you aren’t paying taxes on that income. Plus these jobs have high turnover rates and evening shifts, which means people won’t miss you when you leave and you can work another job during the day.

Another lucrative way to make money would be to work as an apprentice. As I cover in Part 3 of this series, there is a MASSIVE demand for skilled trades apprentices. The average apprentice’s salary in the US is about $15 / hour, which is almost double than the national minimum wage. 

It is not the worst idea to work for a year or two, save money for traveling while also learning a skill (carpentry, for example) that you cash in on while traveling.

Live at home with your parents and try to save on rent. If not your parents, ask a family member. Tell them your plans and why you are trying to save money. Tell them you will be working your ass off and that you really just need a place to crash. Tell them you’ll help with rent and groceries. 

If you don’t have a car or can’t afford insurance, ride a bike. If you don’t have a bike, steal one. Just kidding. Sorry, I had to do anything to break up all the strict instructions. 

The point is that this is not going to be easy, or pretty, but that it can be done if you sacrifice and put in the work. 

If you can work 60 hours a week at $8 / hour, you will make about $1,920 a month. Assuming about 30% of this will go to taxes, you will take home about $1,344.

From this, you set aside $400 a month for your travels. This will leave you with $944 to live off of. It’s not much, but you’ll be living with family and working all the time, so what do you need money for?

After one year, you will have saved $4,800. 

If you have any savings, can get any help from your parents or are able to start saving while still in high school, you can likely do this in much less time. 

$5,000 is the goal. 

If you book your flight far enough in advance, you can get a one-way ticket just about anywhere for around $500. Save another $500 for your ticket home (that you do not book ahead of time) and you still have $4,000. 

Save $500 to live off of for when you come home and you have $3,500 to travel with. 

You gotta have cash to travel. But you don’t need a lot. Places like Southeast Asia, Eastern Europe and South American can be very affordable to travel in. In fact, traveling cheap money is sometimes better. Money suffocates creativity. Not having a lot will force you to get out of your comfort zone more and to be more creative with how you get around.

If money is really tight, there are fantastic websites such as – https://www.workaway.info/ – that connect volunteers with hosts from around the world. Some jobs are paid but others require you to volunteer in exchange for free room and board. Jobs range from working the front desk at a hostel in Ibiza to harvesting the wine fields of Mendoza, Argentina to helping to build a deck for a hostel in Budapest.

Facebook groups are also a great way to find volunteering jobs. In almost any South American country you can type in “Voluntario” followed by the name of a country and you will find a Facebook group where volunteering positions are posted daily.

I have met numerous people who have traveled long-term (1 year +) simply working volunteer job to volunteer job. They save a small nest egg of money, select a place that interests them, work for a month in that place and then move on to the next destination. In-between jobs, they will take some time to explore the regions that they are in.

2) Go. 

The hardest step will be to go.

You will find 100 reasons not to go. You will avoid booking your flight. And you will not be alone in feeling this way. Myself and every other person who has gone abroad has felt scared and nervous and uncertain. This is normal. 

This feeling of fear is a good thing. It means you are breaking through the atmosphere of your own comfort zone.

Do not be overly picky about where you go and try not to plan too much. Find a place that interests you and go. The travel gods favor decisiveness.

I know that it seems terrifying, but it’s not. You will be fine. 

And if you ever find yourself doubting your decision to travel, remember that you can always come back. Or leave. You are not signing up for a tour of duty in Afghanistan. If you travel someplace and don’t like it, just move on. If you travel and find that you actually hate traveling, you can always go right back home.

But at least you’ll be able to say you went for it.

Here are some quick general tips for first timers. There is a complete list of resources below: 

1. Don’t book a return ticket 
2. Only stay in hostels (you’ll meet so many more people) 
3. Try a homestay volunteering in some way. It is a great way to meet friendly locals. See: https://www.workaway.info/
4. Start your trip with the safe parts of the world (Asia / Europe) and make your way up to the big leagues (Central America / Africa)
5. Smile at everyone you meet

Below is a list of websites, apps and resources to hopefully help you on your travels.

Buen viaje!!

 

Useful Tools:

Yourself – You will learn more from talking with other travelers than you ever will from a blog. Be friendly at hostels. Ask lots of questions. Travelers are cool people and will be happy to share some inside tips.

Google Maps – Most people don’t know this because they live in a world of perpetual 4G data, but Google Maps actually works offline. 

Maps.me – Fantastic GPS app that works offline, in case you do not have a data plan in the city you are in. I have literally used this app to navigate off-road trekking trails in Patagonia. It is incredible. You simply download the regional map for each new country or city you go to, and bam, you are set.

Here WeGo Offline Maps – Self-explanatory. Another great offline maps service.

Google Translate – Self-explanatory.

WhatsApp – WhatsApp is the messaging app of choice for most of the world. It is completely free and works with WI-FI. Download it. Use it.

Uber – Uber may the most controversial ride-sharing app, but it is the most widely adopted. It is often one of the safest and cheapest transportation services in many countries. My average cross-city Uber ride in Medellin, Colombia is $3.

**It is important to note that Uber is illegal in many countries but still somehow operational (???) You will likely be asked to sit in the front seat and pretend you are a friend of the driver if the police ask any questions.**

Rome2Rio – “Discover how to get anywhere by plan, train, bus ferry and automobile. Planes, trains, buses and boats.” Rome2Rio is a multi-modal transport search engine. It will provide you with different options and pricing for how to get from one place to the next.

Useful Websites:

The Internet – If you are curious about traveling to a specific place, do what all seasoned travelers do. Google it. Travel blogs are helpful. The ones with less personal information are usually more reliable. Try to read a couple different posts by different travelers. Here are a couple of travel blogs I particularly like:

https://www.thebrokebackpacker.com/ – Great travel site with spot-on advice and extensive travel guides. A LOT of useful information for budget travelers.

https://www.danflyingsolo.com – Another great travel blog with advice on some far-out locations. The owner of the site has a good outlook and solid traveling advice.

https://www.nomadicmatt.com/ – Great travel blog with in-depth travel guides on places all over the world.

https://passionpassport.com – This website is fantastic. It has an extensive collection of in-depth travel guides. It has cool photos. It also has cool series like the “featured Instagram traveler of the week” that allow you to briefly meet regular, everyday travelers.

PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES

https://www.skyscanner.com – Skyscanner is a website for booking cheap flights. A staple site to check for flights for almost all seasoned travelers.

https://www.momondo.com/ – Similar to Skyscanner, Momondo is a great site to use when searching for flights.

https://www.kiwi.com – Again, another great site to use to book cheap flights. They also have a nomad option that can help you to book flights for a long-term trip with several destinations

https://www.scottscheapflights.com – All in the name. One more fantastic site for booking cheap international flights.

https://www.Rome2Rio.com – Rome2Rio is a website designed to help you plan trips. The site can provide a combination of bus, train and ferry combinations to get you were you need to go. In my opinion, it is silly to have a detailed itinerary when traveling. But Rome2Rio can help find creative traveling options when in a pinch.

https://www.busbud.com/en – Great website for finding and booking buses anywhere in the world.

ACCOMODATION

https://www.Hostelworld.com – The world’s premier website for booking hostels. If you are under 27, DO NOT stay in hotels while traveling. They are expensive and waaaaayyy less fun. Hostels are incredible places to meet other travelers and pick up tips for the road. Fuck what you have seen in movies. Hostels are great. Buy beers, smile, ask questions and watch the magic happen.

https://www.AirBnB.com – If you are looking for something a little more private than a shared dorm in a hostel, AirBnB is your best bet. You can find individual rooms in many countries for as little as $12 a night. Try to stay with local families. Often, your hosts will help to enhance your experience.

https://www.homestay.com/ – Is a great site for finding… yep, you guessed it.. home stays. Again, another cool way to meet locals and have a more authentic experience.

https://www.workaway.info/ – An amazing site for finding volunteer working opportunities abroad. The most common arrangement is labor for free room and board. Working different jobs through this site can be a great way to meet people and get to know some locals from the places you visit.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/slowtravelvolunteer/ – This is a very active Facebook group that posts volunteering job openings in countries all over the world. The typical arrangement with most postings is room and board in exchange for free labor.

https://www.trustedhousesitters.com – By far the largest and most trusted site for house-sitting. Looking for a cool way to live abroad for free? Try working as a house-sitter. People pay good money to have someone look after their home and/or pets while they jet-set around the world. The sign-up fee is a little high, but think, if you are able to stay someplace for free for only one month, you will have easily saved $300.

https://www.transitionsabroad.com/ – TranstionsAbroad has all sorts of wonderful information about working, interning, living or studying abroad.

https://www.cheapestdestinationsblog.com/ – This website has great info on how to live and travel for cheap in different places around the world.

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This is a post for any high-school or college-aged readers who are interested in doing something other than attending college.

If this is you, be sure to check out parts 2, 3, 4 and 5 to the Why Not Skip College? series.

Links to the other articles can be found at the end of this post. For anyone keeping track, this is numero uno.

To ANY 18 year old who reads this and who doesn’t have a clue about what they want to do with their life, allow me to be the first person to tell you that this OK. You shouldn’t. Most people don’t. Even the adults who seem to have it all figured out still don’t have all the answers. Don’t let the world convince you that you should know what your path is going to be. 

Relax, breathe and enjoy being young.

It only happens once.

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

– Mark Twain

 

I recently read that good writing is all about telling the truth.

So I’m going to start with the truth. 

And the truth is that this piece was difficult for me to write. I wrote it five different times before settling on the finished product you see here. 

I graduated from college. I know that I am a better, smarter person for having gone to college.

I know that if I had not gone to college my life might have taken a much different route. In addition to the growth I experienced while in school, some of the most formative experiences in my life — moving to Korea to teach English, for example — would have been impossible without a college degree.

I have also read the stats on lifetime earnings for college graduates vs. non-college graduates.  I know that on average college graduates earn $900,000 more than non-college graduates in their lifetime. 

I get how important a strong university system is for our country. I am aware of how the advancements that come from universities push our society forward. 

But, if I am being honest, none of this has helped to kick my strong inner urge to start walking into high schools around the country with a megaphone and announcing: 

“You don’t need to go to college to be successful.” “You don’t need to go to college to be successful.”

It’s just getting out of hand. The costs. The student loan debt. The number of kids who go to school because they can’t imagine another option and then drop out two years later with $40,000 in debt. 

We have to take colleges off the pedestal. We have to stop brainwashing young people with the idea that college is the way, the truth and the light.

Colleges are great, but they ain’t for everyone. 

 Here are 3 reasons why I think that ALL high school graduates should skip college, at least for a year or two, before deciding to go: 

 

#1: College has become too expensive 

 

This shouldn’t be news to anyone, but in case you didn’t know, college is a tad pricey.

Americans currently owe more than $1.56 trillion dollars in student loan debt. This is $521 billion more than the total US credit card debt. 

Colleges have become a hustle. They are the wolf of capitalism disguising itself as the innocent lamb of higher learning. And this wolf feeds itself by taking large amounts of money from naive young people. 

Wanna see what a greedy wolf looks like? Below is a chart showing the increase in tuition costs over the past 20 years: 

Quite the upward curve eh?

Tuition costs at in-state universities have gone up 237 percent in the past 20 years.

237 effin’ percent. And these are at public, in-state schools. You know, the schools that our taxes pay to support.

For a little perspective, the total consumer price index inflation increased by 52.7 percent over this same period of time. This means that college tuition costs have gone up at a rate of more than five times the national rate for comparable goods and services.  

So don’t come at me with “this is an inflation problem.”

This is not an inflation problem. This is a “a college-has-gotten-way-too-damn-expensive problem.”

And no matter the situation, when you put $40,000 worth of chips on the table, questions begin to change.

In this case, the college question changes from “Is college beneficial?” to “Is the juice worth the squeeze?” 

While it is nice to romanticize about college and the idea of young people prancing about in their search for a higher purpose, I think that we should speak frankly with one another. And frankly, the majority of people attend college because:

1. They have no idea what to do after high school
2. College is presented as being the best alternative. 

We make high-interest, unaffordable loans easily accessible and then tell young people, “Go ahead and sign on the dotted line. Then go find yourself.” 

Which leads me to point #2… 

 

#2: College isn’t necessarily the best place to find yourself and/or a job 

 

“But,” some of you might be saying, “college is great because it gives young people a safe place to figure out what they want to do with their life.” 

Nope. 

One of the great misconceptions about college is that it is a great place to go to figure out what you want to do with your life.

Only about 60% of students who enter college actually finish. And those that do graduate take about 6 years to finish what is supposed to be a 4 year degree.

This article in the Harvard Business Review is a synopsis of a study done for the book There Is Life After College. The author of this book, Jeff Selingo, interviewed more than 750 recent college graduates and analyzed their career paths after they graduated.

Among his many findings, one in particular stands out.

Of the students the author labeled as “Sprinters” (these were students who were quick to launch successful careers after graduating college) 64% of these “Sprinters” knew what they wanted to study before they enrolled in a four-year university. 

On the other hand, students who entered college “undecided,” often wandered through their undergraduate years and took much longer to successfully launch a career upon graduation.

Translation: College is a wonderful place to grow if you know what you want to study. It is not a good place for finding out what you want to do with your life. 

Part of the reason that students take so long to graduate is that they change majors. They transfer schools. They drink and party and try to forget about the fact that they will eventually have to grow up. 

And all the while, the juice on their student loans is running… 

What’s even worse is that many of these same students graduate and then take on jobs that are either:

1. Completely unrelated to what they studied or
2. Don’t even require a college degree.

Why? 

Because the market is too saturated. Everyone and their mother is going to college. 

Which leads us to today’s word of the day:

 

Underemployed. 

 

This issue of graduates taking jobs that do not really require a degree has become so common that researchers have coined the term “underemployed” to describe college graduates who are working in a job that does not require their degree.

In 2012, 44% of college graduates worked in a job that didn’t require a college degree

44%.

And you wanna know who is underemployed most often?

Students who enter university undecided about what they want to do.

The “go to school and figure it out later” strategy may have worked 20 years ago. But with the market becoming more competitive and tuition costs spiraling out of control, this strategy is no longer “go to school and figure it out later” but rather “go to school, figure it out and then spend the next 20 years paying for the time it took you to maybe figure it out.”

 

#3: The internet will break is breaking the educational system

 

Imagine you live in a small town.

In this town, there is only one market that sells tomatoes. This market’s tomatoes are expensive and the market itself is difficult to get to, so going there requires a significant investment of time and money.

But the tomatoes are delicious and this market is the only game in town, so everyone sucks it up and goes and pays.

Then one day, there is a big change and several other markets around town begin to sell tomatoes. The tomatoes are a little different, but they are just as good and cost a fraction of the price. And not only are they cheaper, but the other markets are easier to get to because they are closer to the town.

Then, in response to this sudden increase in competition, the original market decides to… raise the prices for their tomatoes. 

Would you go back and buy more tomatoes from the original vendor? 

Not. A. Fucking. Chance. 

This is exactly what is happening right now with education.

We are smack dab in the middle of the Information Age, a time when we have more access to knowledge and information than ever before, and universities (society’s vendors of knowledge) are raising their prices? 

C’mon man. 

I slept through most of my “required” economics classes in college but even I remember that an increase in supply without an equal increase in demand usually means that prices go down… 

Colleges got too greedy. And now the ever-equalizing hand of the internet is about to bitchslap them down a few pegs. 

If you are a student thinking of going to school, take a little time to step back and look at the writing that is already on the wall.

There is a reason why dozens of colleges in Massachusetts and New England are suddenly closing. 

There is a reason why the online learning / self-education industry is exploding in growth. 

There is a reason why companies like Apple, Google and IBM no longer require college degrees for many jobs related to writing software and programming.

There is a reason why the United States government is investing large amounts of money into different apprenticeship programs.

Not only is the college curriculum out-dated, but the job market is changing quickly. It is likely that a lot of the jobs that are in the highest demand in 10 years won’t even require a college degree.

The Bureau for Labor Statistics predicts that employment for software developers, one of the many computer based jobs that doesn’t really require a college degree, will grow by 24% between 2016 to 2026. This is MUCH higher than the average for all other jobs. 

Anyone considering college should take a moment to step back and think, “Wait, will I even need a college degree in 15 years?”

Isn’t it possible that in 15 years colleges are nothing more than specialized schools for certain professions (medicine, law, engineering etc..) and that the rest of the population learns via online courses and YouTube? 

Remember that he internet is undefeated.

Print media. TV. Film. Music. Commerce. The internet has come in like a young, Mike Tyson and hammered these industries beyond recognition. 

Education is next. In fact, education and the internet are already in the ring. The bell has rung and they are slowly pacing around one another. It is only a matter of time before things change. 

Be sure you place your $50,000 bet wisely… 

 

Options.

 

It is important to make a clear distinction between school and learning. While schools require learning, learning does not require school.

I am 1000%, two hands in the air, all-in on learning. There are few things in life as important as the consistent search for knowledge. 

But there are ways to learn that don’t involve college.

Again, if you are in high school and you are uncertain about what you want to do in life, please know that it is OK to skip university. Even if only for a couple years.

Work. Travel. Live. Time is what you need, not debt. Time to grow and make mistakes and experience the world.

Trust me, it is better to start late with a direct purpose than to dive in early with no direction at all.

And now, some alternative options:

Part 2: Why Not Travel?

Part 3: Why Not Apprentice?

Part 4: Why Not Teach Yourself? (under construction)

Part 5: Why Not Hustle? (under construction)

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Note: This is Part 3 of a 5-Part series on why high school graduates should skip college. The idea is to present ideas to high-school and college-aged students who may be looking for an alternative to a 4 year university. If this is not you, that’s cool. Please read on. I think there is an argument worth hearing if you are interested.

 

“If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.”

Charles Bernard Shaw

 

Sometimes, when everyone is going right, the best way to turn is left.

Which, seeing as more than 70% of high-school graduates are are attending college, is going to help make this argument very easy.

“Winston, hold my coat while I go handle dis’ light work real quick.” 

 

The Most In-Demand Jobs Right Now

 

Every year, The Manpower Group, the world’s leader in helping companies find workers, puts together an annual study on the talent shortage globally.

And for the past 6 years, the same group of jobs has had the highest demand worldwide.

It is the same job group that was the most in-demand in 2018 in the United States. 

Skilled labor.

Electricians, carpenters, plumbers, technicians, mechanics, pipe fitters…. We need em.  In 2017, 82% of members from the National Association of Home Builders said finding skilled labor was their #1 problem. 

This article from NPR quotes a study suggesting there are more than 30 million jobs in the US that pay an average of $55,000 a year and DO NOT require a bachelor’s degree. 

30 million. Even if we assume that only half of those jobs are for skilled laborers, that is enough work to employ the entire states of Pennsylvania and Iowa. 

The demand for skilled workers is so obvious, it is one of the only things Presidents Obama and Trump might ever agree on. 

In 2016, under Obama, the US government awarded more than $175 million dollars in apprenticeship grants to public-private employers. In 2017, President Trump issued this executive order, calling for the continued expansion of apprenticeship programs across the country.

If you look at the US Department of Labor’s webpage on apprenticeships, there are more than 150,000 companies offering apprenticeships for 1,000 different occupations. 

The point?

Our country’s blind obsession with college over the past 30 years has created a blue collar ocean of working opportunities. 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wide-open world of skilled trades. 

 

Skilled Trades In-Demand And Likely to Stay There

 

What makes skilled trades even more enticing is that the demand for these jobs is only going to go up.

The average trades worker in the US right now is about 54 years old. Due to the demand put on their body, most skilled trades workers retire by 60.

That means that in just a few years, there is going to be a huge void to fill. Estimates predict that by 2020, more than 31 million Baby Boomers who work in skilled labor will retire. One local study in Kansas City estimated that 50% of all of their skilled labor jobs will be vacant in the next five years.

Some estimates predict that 60% of ALL skilled trades workers nationwide will retire within the next 10 years.

Whatever the exact number, the point is that there will be a lot of jobs to fill. Like A LOT.

Some of you might argue that labor is dead. That it is going to be replaced by AI. And you’re right. Manual labor is going to be replaced by AI. But skilled labor won’t.

In fact, as AI becomes more and more prevalent, it is only going to create more jobs for skilled laborers. Someone needs to monitor and repair the robots, right? 

Plus, many skilled trades workers work on things that are a basic necessity to day-to-day life, making their work important and hard to replace. 

Growing up, I had a friend’s mom who owned a hair salon. She once told me that one of the things she loved the most about her job was it’s security.

“People always gonna need haircuts.” 

There is the same type of job security with many skilled labor jobs.

Plumbers, electricians and carpenters help provide things like water, electricity and shelter. Which are pretty important to just about everybody. Which makes these jobs extremely secure. 

Well paying, In-demand and secure long-term. That is just about the trifecta when it comes to finding a job. 

 

A Story

 

 

In the fall of 2012, Sue Hammelcar was about to graduate high school.

Sue was nervous about the transition. She was excited to be done with high school but she wasn’t sure what to do next. She thought about college, but deep down felt it wasn’t the right choice.

She really doesn’t like to talk about it and people have always been nice, but she knew since the 5th grade that school wasn’t her “thing.”

She can still remember the embarrassment of having to sit by the teacher’s desk and master her times tables, out loud, while her classmates worked on algebra equations. 

But Sue got by. She got by because she was kind and friendly and she worked hard. People like Sue. Her earnestness and honesty are obvious. She is not there to lie, cheat or steal.

Sue has lots of friends, and her friendships with teachers and classmates helped her get by.

It’s not like Sue’s a moron. She’s very practical and once she gets something, she gets it. It just takes her longer to get it than most people.

She didn’t hate school either. Quite the opposite in fact. Sue just preferred some parts more than others. Sue liked art class. And gym. And spending time with her friends.

As senior year flew by, everyone started making plans for college.

Sue really wanted to be with her friends, but deep down something told her she shouldn’t go.

It sucked hat everyone looked so “subtly concerned” whens she mentioned she didn’t know about college. It was frustrating to have to explain herself. People just didn’t know what a struggle school could be. 

Plus there was the cost. Sue’s family situation was stable, but she ” knew what branch of the economic tree we lived on,” and it wasn’t high up. 

Sue really just wanted to be able to find a good job and help her parents for a year or two. Then, she would figure it out. At the time, she had a younger brother who was starting high school and she thought it’s be cool to be around and help him have a fun high school experience. 

Sure, if she really wanted it, Sue knew she could have taken out the loans and payed for school and busted her ass and graduated to get an office job somewhere. But why?

That meant losing a lot of money doing something she didn’t like. 

What to do, what to do. 

And then, one day, Sue shared her concerns with her counsellor. The counsellor brought up the idea of apprenticing. She talked about how much opportunity there was in the skilled trades job market and how the average salary was $50,000 and how students got paid to learn. 

She also talked about how the fees for vocational schools and trades schools were a fraction of the cost of universities. She said that if Sue really wanted, she could quit after a year without any serious cost. 

Sue became interested. Good money right off the bat and lots of opportunity sounded pretty good to her. 

Sue visited the US Bureau of Labor Statistics website with her counsellor, looked into the different trades and decided that being an electrician sounded pretty good.

She read how electricians make, on average, almost $5,000 more than the average college graduate. She also read about how people skills were important for electricians, which she had.

Most importantly, Sue liked that, if she completed the apprenticeship, she would be able to work by herself. Sue hated group projects in school. Everyone staring and waiting and smirking. 

So Sue took out a small loan and enrolled in a local technical college. The coursework was hard, but Sue kept at it. Within a few months, she built a pretty good relationship with one of her instructors, who then helped her land an apprenticeship with a local electrician who was a friend of his.

Sue actually liked the work a lot more than she thought she would. She liked that it was more memorization and planning than theory. She could remember patterns and colors better than theorems and equations. It turned out that being an electrician suited the way her mind worked and how she learned.

In her first full year as an apprentice, Sue made a little more than $30,000. It wasn’t “rappers on big boats with champagne type of money”, but for Sue and her family, this extra income made a big difference.

The money helped Sue pay off her student loan and put a down payment on a used car.

She began paying rent, and this extra money helped her parents have extra money for family trips and a tuxedo rental for her brother’s homecoming. Sue loved helping her family and not seeing them not have to worry about money so much.

By year two of her apprenticeship, Sue was liking the work more and more. She got along with her boss. He was apprehensive about hiring a woman at first, but after he saw that Sue worked hard, he warmed up to Sue. It helped that Sue was a natural when it came to chatting with the families whose homes they worked in. She had an uncanny way of making people feel comfortable when she explained a billing issue. 

Sue was making enough money to move into an apartment with a friend, but she decided to wait. She wanted to keep helping her parents. She decided to finish her vocational training before moving out on her own. 

By year three of her apprenticeship, Sue was making little more than $40,000 a year. She had moved into her own apartment with a friend. She is still helping her family, but she is also saving her money. She has seen how her boss bought a boat with the money he made from rental properties and she’d like to do the same. 

At work, her boss loved that he could trust her in front of clients. In a profession dominated by men, it turned out to be a huge advantage for Sue to have a female touch with things. 

By year four, Sue accepted an offer to finish the final year of her apprenticeship with a much larger firm. She signed a one year contract for more than $50,000 a year. She found it funny that her college friends were graduating and easing into jobs that paid much less.  

By the time she turned 23, Sue had finished her apprenticeship. She has a car that was fully paid off, a nice apartment and more than $25,000 in the bank. Sue left the firm she was working for and began working for herself as a journeywoman electrician.

Being a woman in an industry where 97% of her competition are men, Sue actually ended up creating a nice little niche. Just like in high school, people like her. Contractors know that she does good work and that she is honest. It’s crazy how successful you can be in the trades business if you are honest and trustworthy. 

Sue quickly built a strong relationships with several contractors and by the end of her first year on her own was making more than $60,000. Sue saves and saves, all the while eyeing her first home. 

In 2017, Sue purchased, in the form of a cashier’s check, her first house. It’s a duplex that she bought for cheap at a foreclosure auction after a friend of hers who owns a construction firm mentioned it to her. 

It’s a complete fixer-upper, but that’s no sweat. She has friends throughout the trades industries who she can call on for help. She helps them, they help her. 

It takes a few months, but soon Sue’s half of the duplex is finished. She moves in, all the while chipping away at the second half. 

In 2018, Sue finishes renovating the second half of the duplex and has it rented. Her renters pay for her to live for free, with a little cash cushion, which allows Sue to start saving money again.

Now Sue is hooked. She likes this real estate thing.

Towards the end of 2018, Sue decides to take out a loan for a second duplex. She goes through the same rehab process, putting in the time and the money to fix the duplex up and by the end of the year, she has it rented out. 

The rent from her duplexes easily covers her monthly loan payment, and also becomes a source of residual income. 

Currently, Sue is 25, has some debt (but the good kind, not the unforgivable student loan kind), a car that is fully paid off and two properties putting money in her pocket each month. 

Is this successful enough for you? 

Sue is planning to travel some. She’s always wanted to visit Europe. Since she works for herself, she can take off whenever she wants, for however long she wants and always come back and pick things up where she left off.

Plus, the money from her duplexes will help to fund her travels once she leaves. Her younger brother is going to watch over things while she’s gone. He’s just turned 20 and could use a cheap place to stay. 

 

This wasn’t a real story.

I made the whole thing up. Sue, her brother, the jobs, the houses….everything. 

Oops.

And while I know I created a perfect-case scenario for someone who decides to become an apprentice, ask yourself this:

Is the outcome that I painted that unrealistic? Is what Sue did that difficult to replicate? Is helping your family, making good money and then setting yourself up for a really fun 25 – 35 not a pretty successful life?

Somewhere out there, Sue’s story is waiting to happen. Somewhere there is a student who is a good person, who works hard and is honest but who just wasn’t made for school. 

The only question is, will someone be there to encourage that person to go to the left. To do what suits them, and not what suits society. 

School just ain’t for everyone. And there is a lot of success and happiness to be found outside of a college campus. 

Now, on to some resources that might help, should you be interested in finding an apprenticeship.

1. https://www.trade-schools.net/ – FANTASTIC website with information on how to enter a specific trade and search tools to help you find trade schools near you
2. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp – Some people might need some convincing that school isn’t for them. This is a link to the Jung Typology test. It is a personality test. It is designed to help people determine what type of jobs they might enjoy. Take this. Answer honestly. The only person you hurt by lying is yourself.
3. https://www.bls.gov/home.htm – US Bureau of Labor Statistics. A great site for finding information about different trades jobs. 
4. https://www.dol.gov/apprenticeship/ – This is the US Department of Labor’s re-vamped website focused entirely on apprenticeships. You can search for programs by state. There are more than 150,000 employers and more than 1,000 occupations you can learn. You can find positions in in dynamic industries such as advanced manufacturing, healthcare and even renewable energy
5. http://www.apprenticeship-usa.com/ – This site has useful information on apprenticeship programs in the US and Canada and what is needed to apply. Focus is on trades, but there is a lot of other good information as well.
6. https://www.careerexplorer.com/the-skilled-trades-shortage/ – This is a great article full of information on the shortage of trades workers in the US. There are a links to courses and programs for skilled trades workers. 
7. https://www.careerexplorer.com/assessments/welcome/intro/? – This is an assessment put together that is designed to help you determine what careers might be a good fit for you. 
8. https://www.adeccousa.com/employers/resources/skilled-trades-in-demand/ – This is a well-researched article with fantastic information on the skilled labor jobs that will be in highest demand. 
9. https://www.electriciancareersguide.com/how-hard-is-it-to-become-an-electrician/ – Great article on the difficulty of becoming an electrician. 

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