Cooking is an art form that involves all of our senses. We touch, smell, taste, listen, and see in order to produce something that nourishes ourselves and those we love. Beyond that, cooking requires planning, patience, and money, and it often involves the critique of the people we love most. In other words, cooking is multidimensional and richly personal. 

The forthcoming tips were gathered from home cooks with an array of experience and points of view. Many tips overlapped, and each person had bits to add that did not involve actual cooking, but instead were focused on the cook’s environment, mindset, and reasons for cooking in the first place. The bottom line is this: Anyone can improve their skill set in the kitchen, and you don’t need a pantry full of expensive ingredients or equipment to do it.

Happy cooking!

 

1. BE MINDFUL: cooking can be stressful, and it doesn’t need to be. It’s all about mindset. Take three deep breaths before beginning and remember your intention behind cooking in the first place. Is it to nourish? Please your guests? Connect people? Help you unwind from your day? Ground into moment and go forward with that energy. It carries into the food you cook.
2. SET THE MOOD: put on your favorite music, light a candle, clear the sink of dishes. When the vibe is right, you’ll have more fun and approach your food with more patience, play and love.
3. INVEST in the best knife you can afford and keep it sharp. Your knife is an extension of your arm and your most valuable kitchen tool. Also, sharp knives are safer than dull knives.
4. USE A CUTTING BOARD that’s spacious and sturdy, and keep it stationary by wetting a paper towel and putting it flat between the countertop and cutting board.
5. READ IT: If following a recipe, read it from start to finish before you pick up your knife. Chop what needs chopping, slice what needs slicing, and measure out your spices all before anything hits the heat. In French terms, this is called “mise en place,” and it means “everything in place” before you start cooking. This way you’re not caught unprepared and your mind will be able to focus on exactly the task at hand.
6. SAVE THE RINDS from your parmesan cheese. You can freeze them until ready to use. Toss a rind into pasta sauce or soup while it simmers. The cheese will diffuse into whatever you’re cooking, adding an unexpected dimension of flavor to the dish.
7. LEMONS: Always keep a lemon or two in your kitchen. Lemon will improve the flavor of just about everything. Lemon zest will elevate the intensity of a lemony flavor, while lemon juice will add more tartness to a dish. Zest lemons before cutting and juicing them. Use fresh lemon juice, not bottled.
8. BUTTER: Make sure to read the recipe and follow the directions for using butter. Use melted butter when your recipe calls for melted butter. There is a chemical reason for using butter at various temperatures, and each will yield a different result. Avoid using a microwave to bring butter to room temperature.
9. BROWN BUTTER: If your recipe calls for butter, brown it over low heat first! Browned butter adds an unforgettable nuttiness to anything: especially baked goods, mashed potatoes, and popcorn.
10. SOAK garlic cloves in water overnight to make them easier to peel.
11. SOAK sliced or chopped onions in ice water to make them extra crispy and milder. Soak onions in vinegar to mellow their bite and make them sweeter.
12. BEFORE BRAISING cuts of red meat, brown them. This seals in the juices and creates a fond, which are the brown bits at the bottom of the pan that elevate a sauce from good to fantastic.
13. For better french fries: double fry them. First, cook them in a saturated stable fat (like beef lard) until softened and starting to brown. Then remove them, drain them, and return back to the fat to finish frying.
14. For better roasted potatoes: Cut and parboil them in salted water for 15 minutes. Drain them, season them, and roast with olive oil for 25-35 minutes at 400 degrees until crispy and golden, tossing halfway through.
15. For better mashed potatoes: If you’re making gravy or pan sauce, save some of that starchy cooking liquid before draining the potatoes. Add the drained potatoes back to the pot and allow them to dry out over very low heat (stirring consistently). Warm the cream or milk before adding. Add butter at room temp (not melted) in small increments as you are mashing the potatoes. This allows the butter to incorporate into the potatoes more completely.
16. For better smoothies: Peel and cut bananas into chunks and freeze them. This will make your smoothie colder, thicker, and smoother. It also gives your almost-bad bananas a chance to shine where they might’ve met the compost bin instead.
17. LEARN A VARIETY of cooking methods: steaming, sautéing, braising, and roasting, for example. Start with one technique at a time, and practice each technique with a variety of vegetables.
18. CLEAN as you go! It’s not very fun to clean up the whole mess after eating the delicious dinner you’ve prepared. Take micro breaks as you’re cooking to lighten the cleanup load at the end.
19. BLANCH TOMATOES and peel the skins to make a smoothly textured and flavored sauce.
20. SEASON AND TASTE as you go! Keep a dish of sea salt next to the stove so that you can season each layer of flavor you’re adding to the dish. Start lightly: you can always add more.
21. ALLOW meat and fish to rest for several minutes once removed from heat. Fish and meat continue to cook internally even after exposure to heat. Allowing the meat to rest gives the flavors within proteins time to settle. Meat that’s prematurely cut will lose flavorful juices, and these are the juices you want to keep. 
22. IF YOU BURN IT: If some or most of the dish is salvageable, scrape off the burnt parts. Then puree it into a soup. Throw it out or throw it in a crockpot to cook down to homemade food for your pet. Take a deep breath, and remember you can start again tomorrow.
23. IF YOU OVER-SALT IT: Add rice, potatoes, quinoa, more veggies or beans to soak up the extra salinity.
24. BLOOM: When making a dish with a bunch of ingredients or spices, add each ingredient incrementally and allow its flavor to bloom before adding the next ingredient or spice.
25. ADD SPICES before adding liquid, not after. Spices are fat-soluble and need to be incorporated with fat. Adding spices too late will cause them to pool to the top instead of blending properly into your dish. For example: add spices to your sautéing veggies when making chili; then, add the rest of the ingredients.
26. Use ONIONS AND GARLIC together, and add garlic during the last 30 seconds of cooking (or just before adding any liquid). Garlic is easy to burn and will make the whole dish taste bitter if it does.
27. TEST THE SEASONING of ground meat (burgers, meatballs, meatloaf, kabobs, etc) by pinching off a small bit of meat. Cook it in a sauté pan and taste. Adjust the whole yield accordingly (you can test this way as many times as it takes!).
28. BUY GREENS every time you shop and chop them as soon as you get home. Store them in an airtight container with a damp paper towel. That way you can throw in a handful of greens to whatever you’re cooking. It’ll quickly boost the nutrient-density of your meal.
29. USE FRESH HERBS liberally. When buying a bunch of parsley or cilantro, chop it all at once. Save whatever you don’t use first in an airtight container and add handfuls of herbs to whatever you’re cooking. Chopped herbs will last 3-4 days when stored properly.
30. EMBRACE the seasons. What’s in season now is what will taste the best. If you don’t know which vegetables are in season when, observe what looks the best and brightest at the market. Strawberries and tomatoes are most vibrant and abundant in the summertime. Squashes are gorgeous during the fall. Use your instincts to guide you toward the freshest seasonal produce. Your food will taste better when your ingredients are solid.
31. ACIDS: Get to know your acids. A splash of red wine vinegar or lemon juice goes a long way to elevating a dish. Different vinegars and citrus juices will lend a different effect, and you’ll learn to spot the difference with time and experience. Start with red wine vinegar. Venture to white wine, sherry, champagne, and balsamic vinegars. Fruit vinegars are often loaded with sugar. Use these sparingly. Add a bit of vinegar or citrus at the end of cooking, taste, and add more if necessary.
32. SWEETEN your dishes more creatively: for example, use honey, maple syrup, date paste, molasses, grated carrot, mashed banana and applesauce in baked goods. Alternative sweeteners lend a depth and complexity that regular cane sugar does not.
33. HOMEMADE VINAIGRETTES are simple to make and so much fresher than anything you can buy at the store. Learn to make a base vinaigrette with olive oil, vinegar, dijon mustard, salt, and pepper. From there, the sky’s the limit.
34. OBSERVE as you eat your own food, and the food of others: What do you love about this particular dish? Remember and even take notes. Ask the cook how they seasoned it, or what they did to make the texture just right. People love sharing knowledge and talking about what they’ve created. Nothing beats learning from fellow home cooks.
35. BE EASY on yourself. Cooking is a skill that takes practice, and practice requires mistakes to learn. Use these mistakes as opportunities to improve next time.

 

Contributors:

Jacqui Gabel is a nutrition therapist, chef instructor, and personal wellness chef in the greater Denver area. She lives to inspire connection, empowerment, and memory through food. Find her on IG: @realfooddesire 

Mason J. Spendow is a traveling retreat caterer and private chef based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His life’s work is to be a steward for the profound healing powers of food. Find out more about Mason at www.onpurposekitchen.com and IG: @onpurposekitchen

Ji Sun Chong loves to cook delicious food and eat to her heart’s content. She lives in Philadelphia and has gained inspiration through time living in Baltimore (her hometown), Washington DC, Maitland, Ontario, The Twin Cities, and Seoul. 

Tony Tushar spent over a decade working in James Beard award-winning kitchens where he learned how to tie together an appreciation for multi-cultured food and seasonal eating. He currently lives in Minneapolis and loves nourishing his family.

Linda Quillen is a retired nurse practitioner living in Lincoln, Nebraska. She is a lifelong cook who loves the challenge of cooking a new dish and learning new techniques to feed the people she loves.

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Cooking is an art form that involves all of our senses. We touch, smell, taste, listen, and see in order to produce something that nourishes ourselves and those we love. Beyond that, cooking requires planning, patience, and money, and it often involves the critique of the people we love most. In other words, cooking is multidimensional and richly personal. 

The forthcoming tips were gathered from home cooks with an array of experience and points of view. Many tips overlapped, and each person had bits to add that did not involve actual cooking, but instead were focused on the cook’s environment, mindset, and reasons for cooking in the first place. The bottom line is this: Anyone can improve their skill set in the kitchen, and you don’t need a pantry full of expensive ingredients or equipment to do it.

Happy cooking!

 

1. BE MINDFUL: cooking can be stressful, and it doesn’t need to be. It’s all about mindset. Take three deep breaths before beginning and remember your intention behind cooking in the first place. Is it to nourish? Please your guests? Connect people? Help you unwind from your day? Ground into moment and go forward with that energy. It carries into the food you cook.
2. SET THE MOOD: put on your favorite music, light a candle, clear the sink of dishes. When the vibe is right, you’ll have more fun and approach your food with more patience, play and love.
3. INVEST in the best knife you can afford and keep it sharp. Your knife is an extension of your arm and your most valuable kitchen tool. Also, sharp knives are safer than dull knives.
4. USE A CUTTING BOARD that’s spacious and sturdy, and keep it stationary by wetting a paper towel and putting it flat between the countertop and cutting board.
5. READ IT: If following a recipe, read it from start to finish before you pick up your knife. Chop what needs chopping, slice what needs slicing, and measure out your spices all before anything hits the heat. In French terms, this is called “mise en place,” and it means “everything in place” before you start cooking. This way you’re not caught unprepared and your mind will be able to focus on exactly the task at hand.
6. SAVE THE RINDS from your parmesan cheese. You can freeze them until ready to use. Toss a rind into pasta sauce or soup while it simmers. The cheese will diffuse into whatever you’re cooking, adding an unexpected dimension of flavor to the dish.
7. LEMONS: Always keep a lemon or two in your kitchen. Lemon will improve the flavor of just about everything. Lemon zest will elevate the intensity of a lemony flavor, while lemon juice will add more tartness to a dish. Zest lemons before cutting and juicing them. Use fresh lemon juice, not bottled.
8. BUTTER: Make sure to read the recipe and follow the directions for using butter. Use melted butter when your recipe calls for melted butter. There is a chemical reason for using butter at various temperatures, and each will yield a different result. Avoid using a microwave to bring butter to room temperature.
9. BROWN BUTTER: If your recipe calls for butter, brown it over low heat first! Browned butter adds an unforgettable nuttiness to anything: especially baked goods, mashed potatoes, and popcorn.
10. SOAK garlic cloves in water overnight to make them easier to peel.
11. SOAK sliced or chopped onions in ice water to make them extra crispy and milder. Soak onions in vinegar to mellow their bite and make them sweeter.
12. BEFORE BRAISING cuts of red meat, brown them. This seals in the juices and creates a fond, which are the brown bits at the bottom of the pan that elevate a sauce from good to fantastic.
13. For better french fries: double fry them. First, cook them in a saturated stable fat (like beef lard) until softened and starting to brown. Then remove them, drain them, and return back to the fat to finish frying.
14. For better roasted potatoes: Cut and parboil them in salted water for 15 minutes. Drain them, season them, and roast with olive oil for 25-35 minutes at 400 degrees until crispy and golden, tossing halfway through.
15. For better mashed potatoes: If you’re making gravy or pan sauce, save some of that starchy cooking liquid before draining the potatoes. Add the drained potatoes back to the pot and allow them to dry out over very low heat (stirring consistently). Warm the cream or milk before adding. Add butter at room temp (not melted) in small increments as you are mashing the potatoes. This allows the butter to incorporate into the potatoes more completely.
16. For better smoothies: Peel and cut bananas into chunks and freeze them. This will make your smoothie colder, thicker, and smoother. It also gives your almost-bad bananas a chance to shine where they might’ve met the compost bin instead.
17. LEARN A VARIETY of cooking methods: steaming, sautéing, braising, and roasting, for example. Start with one technique at a time, and practice each technique with a variety of vegetables.
18. CLEAN as you go! It’s not very fun to clean up the whole mess after eating the delicious dinner you’ve prepared. Take micro breaks as you’re cooking to lighten the cleanup load at the end.
19. BLANCH TOMATOES and peel the skins to make a smoothly textured and flavored sauce.
20. SEASON AND TASTE as you go! Keep a dish of sea salt next to the stove so that you can season each layer of flavor you’re adding to the dish. Start lightly: you can always add more.
21. ALLOW meat and fish to rest for several minutes once removed from heat. Fish and meat continue to cook internally even after exposure to heat. Allowing the meat to rest gives the flavors within proteins time to settle. Meat that’s prematurely cut will lose flavorful juices, and these are the juices you want to keep. 
22. IF YOU BURN IT: If some or most of the dish is salvageable, scrape off the burnt parts. Then puree it into a soup. Throw it out or throw it in a crockpot to cook down to homemade food for your pet. Take a deep breath, and remember you can start again tomorrow.
23. IF YOU OVER-SALT IT: Add rice, potatoes, quinoa, more veggies or beans to soak up the extra salinity.
24. BLOOM: When making a dish with a bunch of ingredients or spices, add each ingredient incrementally and allow its flavor to bloom before adding the next ingredient or spice.
25. ADD SPICES before adding liquid, not after. Spices are fat-soluble and need to be incorporated with fat. Adding spices too late will cause them to pool to the top instead of blending properly into your dish. For example: add spices to your sautéing veggies when making chili; then, add the rest of the ingredients.
26. Use ONIONS AND GARLIC together, and add garlic during the last 30 seconds of cooking (or just before adding any liquid). Garlic is easy to burn and will make the whole dish taste bitter if it does.
27. TEST THE SEASONING of ground meat (burgers, meatballs, meatloaf, kabobs, etc) by pinching off a small bit of meat. Cook it in a sauté pan and taste. Adjust the whole yield accordingly (you can test this way as many times as it takes!).
28. BUY GREENS every time you shop and chop them as soon as you get home. Store them in an airtight container with a damp paper towel. That way you can throw in a handful of greens to whatever you’re cooking. It’ll quickly boost the nutrient-density of your meal.
29. USE FRESH HERBS liberally. When buying a bunch of parsley or cilantro, chop it all at once. Save whatever you don’t use first in an airtight container and add handfuls of herbs to whatever you’re cooking. Chopped herbs will last 3-4 days when stored properly.
30. EMBRACE the seasons. What’s in season now is what will taste the best. If you don’t know which vegetables are in season when, observe what looks the best and brightest at the market. Strawberries and tomatoes are most vibrant and abundant in the summertime. Squashes are gorgeous during the fall. Use your instincts to guide you toward the freshest seasonal produce. Your food will taste better when your ingredients are solid.
31. ACIDS: Get to know your acids. A splash of red wine vinegar or lemon juice goes a long way to elevating a dish. Different vinegars and citrus juices will lend a different effect, and you’ll learn to spot the difference with time and experience. Start with red wine vinegar. Venture to white wine, sherry, champagne, and balsamic vinegars. Fruit vinegars are often loaded with sugar. Use these sparingly. Add a bit of vinegar or citrus at the end of cooking, taste, and add more if necessary.
32. SWEETEN your dishes more creatively: for example, use honey, maple syrup, date paste, molasses, grated carrot, mashed banana and applesauce in baked goods. Alternative sweeteners lend a depth and complexity that regular cane sugar does not.
33. HOMEMADE VINAIGRETTES are simple to make and so much fresher than anything you can buy at the store. Learn to make a base vinaigrette with olive oil, vinegar, dijon mustard, salt, and pepper. From there, the sky’s the limit.
34. OBSERVE as you eat your own food, and the food of others: What do you love about this particular dish? Remember and even take notes. Ask the cook how they seasoned it, or what they did to make the texture just right. People love sharing knowledge and talking about what they’ve created. Nothing beats learning from fellow home cooks.
35. BE EASY on yourself. Cooking is a skill that takes practice, and practice requires mistakes to learn. Use these mistakes as opportunities to improve next time.

 

Contributors:

Jacqui Gabel is a nutrition therapist, chef instructor, and personal wellness chef in the greater Denver area. She lives to inspire connection, empowerment, and memory through food. Find her on IG: @realfooddesire 

Mason J. Spendow is a traveling retreat caterer and private chef based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His life’s work is to be a steward for the profound healing powers of food. Find out more about Mason at www.onpurposekitchen.com and IG: @onpurposekitchen

Ji Sun Chong loves to cook delicious food and eat to her heart’s content. She lives in Philadelphia and has gained inspiration through time living in Baltimore (her hometown), Washington DC, Maitland, Ontario, The Twin Cities, and Seoul. 

Tony Tushar spent over a decade working in James Beard award-winning kitchens where he learned how to tie together an appreciation for multi-cultured food and seasonal eating. He currently lives in Minneapolis and loves nourishing his family.

Linda Quillen is a retired nurse practitioner living in Lincoln, Nebraska. She is a lifelong cook who loves the challenge of cooking a new dish and learning new techniques to feed the people she loves.

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A little while back, I was talking to my friend Mike. We were, as I like to call it, “putting in the work” — meaning we were talking about deep stuff.

Goals. Insecurities. Fears.

Mike asked me why I thought I couldn’t commit in relationships. I said it is likely rooted in insecurity. An insecurity about the future of relationships as well as an insecurity of self.

“Insecurity of self?” he asked.

“Yea. Growing up, I was a goof. Late bloomer. I was rejected by women in high school. Deep down, there is a still a part of me that feels a need to be accepted by women. Especially attractive women. I need to earn and gain their approval.”

“And the other stuff?” he asked.

“Parents divorce. Mom cheated on my dad.”

And then Mike said something very interesting.

“You know, what you said is probably true. Those experiences do probably hold you back from connecting with women. But, at the same time, those same experiences are also likely the source of the best parts of you.”

Mike went on to tell me stories about how he was bullied growing up. How a kid two years younger than him threw him into a locker. He told the stories as if they’d happened yesterday.

“But you know what? It was those experiences that pushed me to get into bodybuilding. Bodybuilding got me into training. Training got me into coaching, which I love and has made me a lot of money. I mean look, we’re in a fucking villa on the beach that I paid for. Without the insecurity and pain from those experiences growing up, would I have had the fire to do any of that?”

As I thought about what Mike said, I realized he was right. Sometimes, the worst of what we experience creates the best of who we are.

If my mom never left my dad, would I have ever questioned things to the point where I decided to move to Korea? Probably not. And if I don’t make that leap, do I backpack through Asia or decide to move to Colombia? Probably not.

If I don’t go through a painful break-up, do I pour myself into surfing? Probably not.

My friend Drew is perhaps the best teacher I’ve ever been around. He LOVES his job. He cares deeply about seeing his students succeed. But the source of Drew’s passion for teaching does not come from supreme intelligence (sorry Drew). It comes from pain. His whole life, Drew struggled with school. He had to work twice as hard as most of our classmates just to get the same grade.

Those experiences are what make him such a wonderful teacher. He relates to the students who struggle. He feels their pain and wants badly to help them overcome the same obstacles he faced. Without his own struggles in school, does Drew’s passion exist? Probably not.

A few weeks back, I read Phil Knight’s memoir, Shoe Dog. In it, he talks about the sweatshop crisis Nike went through. In the early 1990’s Nike came under hot fire for the wages and conditions of the factories in which their shoes and apparel were made. Students across the country protested Nike. “The Nike product has become synonymous with slave wages, forced overtime, and arbitrary abuse,” Knight once said.

It was a very difficult time for the company, and for Knight.

In his book, Knight talks about the pain and frustration he felt. He spent his entire life creating a company, a brand, an idea…. that completely transcended sports. A business that connected countries and brought hundreds of thousands of jobs to developing countries. And then, he wakes up one day “seeing yourself burned in effigy outside the flagship store in your hometown.”

But from this difficult time came good. Nike did a full 180. They created the Fair Labor Association. They increased workers wages. They invented a water-based bonding agent that gave off no fumes and eliminated 97% of carcinogens in the air. Then they gave that invention to all of their competitors.

They also started “The Girl Effect” — a program that invests tens of millions of dollars in a global campaign to educate and connect and lift up young girls.

If the world didn’t criticize Nike and protest outside it’s retail stores and burn their products, would all of this have come to fruition? Would they have pushed themselves to ask how they could be better? Probably not.

Look at this past year. For all of the death and suffering that came from the pandemic, there was also a worldwide movement for social equality and justice. If we weren’t given a global re-set — if tens of millions of people didn’t have countless hours of free time to read and think and plan and organize — if life had been bustling forward at it’s normal pace; would the social justice movement have grown as quickly? Probably not.

The issue is that the benefits of turbulent times are often only realized much later on. As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that we’ve gotta love it all. Even the shitty stuff. Because through the worst times comes the best of who we are. You won’t know what the best will be. Again, the dots don’t connect forward, only backwards. But the best of you will be there, stirring and waking and boiling over, ready to come out.

Life won’t always be easy. There will be times when we don’t want to carry on and it becomes hard to maintain hope. So when you need something to trust in, trust in this very simple rule:

From the worst of what we experience, comes the best of who we are. 

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In nothing, everything.

I try to remind myself of this as often as I can.

I do this in two ways. The first is by reminding myself I know nothing. Not technically, but relatively.

I know nothing about the meaning of life or what happens when we die. I know nothing about the history of Afghanistan or how to use verbs in Hindu or about sacred Inca ceremonies. I know nothing about you and the unique sequence of experiences that have led to you being right here, reading this sentence. Nor do I know a thing about the unique experiences that have brought the other 7 billion people on the planet to where they are at this moment right now.

In terms of the total information about the world that I possess, it’s like:

0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%.

It’s likely smaller, but you get the idea.

This reminder creates an infinite space for learning. I ask more questions. My ego sheds and my mind opens, allowing me listen to what people are saying instead of contemplating a response that makes me look knowledgable.

This reminder also humbles me. It allows me to look silly and to ask questions that start with “Actually, I have no idea, what is….”

It might seem counter productive to learning to be walking around telling people you know nothing, but in fact, it’s the opposite. This type of humility endears you to people and amplifies their willingness to help you. You become a breath of fresh air, the one person admitting something we all know, but never say.

The more someone tries to tell me how much they know or how wrong I am, the more comforted I am. Because anyone who thinks they know a lot really doesn’t know shit. Those who say, do not know. Those who know, do not say.

My second reminder is that nothing is mine.

Phone, apartment, clothes, motorcycle, surfboard. I may be in possession of these things for awhile, but none of them are mine. Eventually, I will sell them or lose them or break them. Everything, including my body and my mind, is on lease.

As an exercise to reinforce this reminder, I give things away. Usually things I like. I give away shirts I like. I lend my possessions freely and let people stay in my apartment rent-free. I do not do this as much as I could, but I try.

By separating myself from my possessions and sharing more, I am able to better connect with others. This increases my overall happiness more than the guarding my possessions ever has. It’s a strange phenomenon, but I have noticed that the more I give, the more I receive. The more you give, the more the universe finds ways to fill your cup back up.

At first, this mindset might seem limiting to growth, but the reality is the opposite. Accepting that nothing is mine creates a world in which everything is mine. By accepting that nothing is mine, or yours, or anybody’s, everything becomes mine and yours and everybody’s.

If nothing is mine, then nothing is yours too. Or hers. Or his. And since nothing is ours, all of it is. This does mean I’m entitled to your stuff or that I get to take it. But it does mean I can have what you have.

For too long, I lived with a scarcity mindset, assuming because someone else had, it meant I could not. I guarded what I had, fearful that if I lost it, it meant I might never get in back. By realizing nothing is mine, or yours; that it’s all ours, flowing to us and through us and from us; I believe more in what I can receive. Whatever anyone has will eventually leave them. Why can’t it come in my direction?

The first step of possession is belief. I am sure, by way of reminder number one, there exists some fruit in Africa I’ve never heard of. And since I’ve never heard of this fruit, it’s impossible for me to believe in it. And since I do not believe in this fruit, I don’t think about it or ask for it or search for it on Amazon. And because I do not do these things, I cannot possess this fruit.

By realizing that nothing is really anyone’s — it’s all on loan — I believe more in what I can receive. I believe I can have what others have and begin to ask for it. I also believe in what I can give. That I can be a source of what others what without experiencing loss.

This acceptance has helped my mindset shift from “I’m going to guard my 50 acorns ” to “holy shit there are 50,000,000,000 acorns we can all share.” It has removed any shame I have of accumulating wealth, or of sharing it. Instead of focusing on protecting, I focus on gathering.

In a nice twist of fate, adapting a gatherer mindset attracts me to other gatherers, to other people whose beliefs align with mine. This only increases my ability to gather. Like attracts like.

Most importantly, these reminders help keep my fear in check. 90% of my what I fear stems from a fear of loss. Loss of life or home or reputation or money or family or job or quality of life. The more I remember that it all eventually goes, the less I fear loss and the more I focus on appreciating and enjoying what I have, while I have it.

Just some ramblings. Maybe they’ll make sense to you. Maybe not.

Like I said in the beginning, what do I know?

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Can you see me?

Maybe it’s easier now. Now that your job isn’t so secure and the economy isn’t doing so well and the money isn’t flowing in.

That’s usually how discovery makes its entrance. It likes to follow elimination. 

When you watch the news, can you feel me come and go? Can you see how politicians and news networks trade me? How, at the end of the day, I am the currency that the government will manufacture $2 trillion to keep? The currency that businesses want. The currency the stock market needs. 

Still not seeing it?

OK. Let’s try a riddle. Here goes…

 

“Everyone needs me and everyone has me. Some have more than others.

The amount you have can be determined by the family you were born into, the color of your skin, your level of experience in what you are doing, your sex and even your sexual orientation.

You can gain or lose me quickly.

The amount of me that you feel you have can change in relation to how much the people around you have. If you are with people who have a lot of me, you will feel like you have little. If you are with people who have little of me, you will feel like you have a lot. 

What am I?”

 

It’s possible that your answer was money. And you’d be right. Money checks all the boxes. 

But I am not Money. I am Confidence, Money’s invisible cousin. You can go through the riddle again. You’ll find that I also check the boxes. 

And the reason that there are so many similarities between me and my cousin Money is because we’re both from the same family.

We’re both Currencies.

The only real difference between the two of us is that I am completely invisible. I am not a currency you count and save and stack. I am a currency you feel.

Hard for you to believe in an invisible currency? Then ask yourself this: 

How much of the money you receive do you actually physically touch?

Now I am not the most important of the Currencies — that honor goes to Father Time — but I’m definitely more important than Money. In fact, in the currency cycle of life, money comes after I do. It exists because I exist. 

And unlike my cousin Money, you have the ability to create me whenever you want. 

Not convinced?

Ok, let me see what I can do. 

 

Confidence and Money

 

When you hear the word “currency” your first thoughts are probably of money. Of dollars and Euros and pesos. 

But the truth is that anything can technically be a currency. 

Before the government-backed currencies you use now, people traded gold and silver coins. In Africa, tribal groups used large copper and bronze bracelets called Manillas as their form of money. 

Before coins and metal objects, it was physical things that had a real-world use value. Things that were always in demand and easy to trade. Things like salt and fur pelts. In fact, at the peak of the fur trade in Canada, fur pelts were not only a currency but also the unit of measure used by the Hudson Bay Company to keep their books.   

 

 

But the history of currencies isn’t important. The important thing is that you see that just about anything can be a currency. As long as there is enough confidence and belief in what is being traded, as long as people believe it has value, then anything can be a currency. 

The current monetary system, the FIAT system, exists because of your unique human ability to believe in things beyond yourself. Because of your imagination. Because of your ability to mentally place value in things that you cannot physically touch, see and smell.

When your employer deposits $2,000 into your checking account, you know that their bank is not sending a magical elf in a magical car with $2,000 physical dollars to your bank. 

The transaction is digital. Numbers on screens and in clouds. 

And it’s all possible because you, your employer and your respective banks all buy in. Because you believe that seeing +$2,000 on a computer screen is the same as having $2,000 placed in your hand. And because you believe that having $2,000 in your hand is actually worth something. 

To be honest, without Confidence, money ain’t shit. It is literally worthless. 

Here’s a story to illustrate this point. 

Imagine that you are trekking through a jungle. You hear what sounds like a waterfall and decide to wander off the path in search of it. You slap and hack your way through the wildlife and, with one final pull of your hands, part the branches to reveal a majestic, multi-tiered waterfall. 

And then you see it. Right along the left edge of one of the larger pools created by the waterfall. A tiger,  calmly drinking water. The tiger looks up and spots you. It changes its body position and begins to growl. 

 

 

All of a sudden, you are face to face with a tiger that is very ready to kill you. 

And then, in a stroke of good fortune, the heavens open and God himself comes down and decides to help. He says he will give you one of three things to help you in your time of need.

Five pounds of steak, three pounds of pure steel shaped however you’d like or $1,000,000 cash. 

What would you choose? 

To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what you would choose. All that matters is that we agree that you probably ain’t choosing the $1,000,000. 

And why not? The cash is easily the most valuable of the three options, right? 

Wrong. 

And it’s because the tiger doesn’t believe in money. In the raw, natural, physical world money has no use value. The tiger can’t eat it or drink it, so what does the tiger care about $1,000,000? And without confidence, without a shared belief in the value of $1,000,00, all that cash becomes exposed for what it really is: 

A bunch of paper that smells funny. 

In the weeks that Congress spent trying to figure out how to boost the national economy, one wild idea put forth by US Representative Rashida Tlaib was to have the US Mint create two $1 trillion coins from pure platinum. The idea was that the US Treasury would buy the coins from the mint at face value and the US Mint, now $2 trillion richer, would then be able to distribute their newfound wealth to US businesses and citizens.

“But,” you ask “how can a single platinum coin be worth $1 trillion?”

Good question, now we’re getting there.

It is all because of belief. 

The costs to produce a quarter, a $1 bill and a $100 bill are about the same. According to the US Federal Reserve, a $1 bill costs $0.05 to produce, a quarter $0.08 and a $100 bill about $0.14.

Here is a chart showing the costs compared to the perceived market value. Blue is costs and orange is market value: 

 

 

So why, if it costs more to make a quarter than it does a $1 bill, is the $1 bill worth 4X more? 

Or why, if it costs the about the same as it does to produce a quarter, is the $100 worth 400X more? 

 

 

Because we all agree on it. 

Look at Bitcoin. Ever wonder how can one “coin” from an invisible currency that runs on a digital network few people truly understand be worth more than $9,000? 

Because enough people believe in Bitcoin. Enough people have confidence in cryptocurrency and in the capabilities and security of the technology that powers Bitcoin’s network.

So can you see now?

Can you see how, without Confidence, those paper currencies you love so much go all Venezualan Bolivar and people begin using money for paper mache. 

Yea, you might not be able to see me or touch me… but so what. 

Remember, with currencies, it’s all about believing. 

 

Sharing Confidence

 

So, why does it matter that you see confidence as a currency? Why is it important that you see the effect that confidence has on money? 

Because right now, confidence is the currency that we need more than anything. The world’s governments are doing their part to make sure there is enough money. But the silent killer of this pandemic is not the virus as much as it is the uncertainty the virus has brought with it.

“Do I have the virus?” “Am I asymptomatic?” “ Will I lose my job?” “How long will this shutdown last?”

The world is in a serious Confidence deficit. And it’s going to be up to the masses to balance out the ledger. 

“But,” you ask, “how can I create confidence?”

Just follow the government’s lead. 

Do you want to know how the US government came up with the $2 trillion for the recent America CARES stimulus package? They made it up. Congress passed a bill and sent instructions to the Federal Reserve, our government’s bank, who then went into their computer and with a few clicks, manufactured $2 trillion USD.

Don’t believe me? 

Here is a fantastic clip from 2009 with former head of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernake explaining how the US Federal Reserve “simply used the computer to mark up the size of the account,” in order to fund a stimulus package:

For those who might be wondering, “Where did the Federal Reserve get the $1.5 trillion they just committed to injecting?”
A blast from the past explanation of how it all works. 💻 pic.twitter.com/wCQUwni8El

— Stephanie Kelton (@StephanieKelton) March 12, 2020

Thankfully, the same is true for confidence. When we need it, we can make it up.

Humans are strange creatures. We have these wonderful brains. These brains that have the power to invent and believe in abstract things like money. Brains that allow us to receive and filter and decipher information at warp speed.

And yet, for whatever reason, we love to direct the power of our brains toward the negative. 

Scientists refer to this phenomenon as our “negativity bias.” Our negativity bias is what leads us to put more value in negative information than we do positive information. It is why it’s easier for us to remember an insult than it is to remember a compliment.

It’s why the majority of the news we read about and see is negative. Media companies know that we are naturally drawn to negativity. That we’ll click on an article talking about what is wrong with the world before we’ll click on an article talking about what’s good about it. 

So the first step to manufacturing confidence is to not indulge your negativity bias too much. To check yourself and to watch what you are reading and saying to others. 

It’s OK to accept that this is a serious situation with very real consequences. But it is not OK to over-indulge your negativity bias in hypothetical “maybes” and “it’s possible” and “what if’s” about how many people will die and how long the shutdown will last and what the long-term economic ramifications will be. 

This is what every single person’s reaction should be to questions about this pandemic:

 

 

Because the truth is that you don’t know shit. Nobody does. 

So stop spreading stories about what could happen or what you heard might happen. Stop using the expression “Stay safe,” at the end of emails and when you exit people’s company. Stop talking about what you “heard.” 

Focus on today. Focus on what you have right now and what you can do with the only time any of us are ever given in life. The present. 

Analyze your situation for what it is, not what it might be or could, and only worry when it is time to worry. 

 

The second step is to remember who the fuck you (and we) are. 

We are the ones who removed ourselves from the food chain. We are the only creatures who have flown to the moon and dove to the depths of the sea and invented vehicles that allow us to move across land faster than a cheetah, all without even using our legs.

Take some comfort in our track record. 

We have, time and again, bounced back from wars and pandemics and natural disasters. In fact, the last time we had a pandemic, the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918 and 1919, we bounced right back into the Roaring 20’s.

This is a difficult time. But know that we are going to be alright. That we will bounce back. It’s what we humans do. 

And after you give us some credit, take some time to do the same for yourself.

Take some time to think back on all of the challenges and difficulties that you have overcome in your life. The times when your future was uncertain. And then remember that you made it. That you figured it out. 

 

Step three is to stop diminishing what you do. 

We all have a tendency to live in our own heads. To become preoccupied with our own reality. 

Which is fine. It’s normal. But it leads us to subconsciously under-value ourselves and what we can do by overestimating how many people can do the same things we can. 

We assume that because we can do this and because we have had that experience, that so too has the majority of the population.

“I can do it, so obviously everyone else can right?”

Wrong. 

A few weeks ago, I spoke at a marketing conference. The night before I spoke, I was worried. I felt like I was under-qualified and what I was going to say was obvious and not worth people’s time. 

But I spoke anyway. And after my speech, no fewer than two dozen people came up to me to let me know how eye-opening my speech had been for them. About how much they had learned. 

After the conference, I was talking with a good friend who was also the host of the summit. I asked him if these summits ever rejuvenated his confidence in the work he was doing. If he felt more valuable afterwards. 

“Totally,” he said. “Totally man. It’s crazy how much we undervalue ourselves. How much we take what we know and what we can do for granted.”

Don’t take yourself for granted. You have value. Your random skills have value. And the internet is making it easier and easier to monetize them.

Here’s an example that might help you see the bigger picture. When I was preparing my presentation for the conference, I decided to search for someone to help beautify my presentation. What I found AMAZED me.

Did you know there are people on the site www.upwork.com, charging more than $100/ HOUR (hour!!) to edit Powerpoint presentations. And not only are they charging it, they are getting it (I underlined the rate and circled the total amount earned on the site below):

 

 

Believe that even if you lose your job and governments stop giving out money like it’s Halloween, your experiences and abilities have value in the market. 

 

Step four, watch your mouth. 

Confidence is most often manufactured in what we say. Be mindful of the conversations you have. Be mindful of the information you are choosing to share with other people. 

You can choose to talk about the number of new cases and how many people have died each day.

Or you can choose to talk about the hundreds of thousands of people who have recovered. You can talk about how there are signs that Italy’s quarantine is working and that the number of new cases might be on the decline. 

You can talk about the fact that the survival rate for this virus is likely over 98%. Or how it’s possible, considering how long China covered this up and how quickly this virus spreads and how so many people seem to be asymptomatic, that way more people have already been infected. That the mortality rate might actually be much lower. It might not. It might be higher. But will we ever really know? 

You can choose to focus on how hospitals are running out of equipment and the immense stress that nurses and doctors are working under. 

Or you can choose to talk about how society is STEPPING UP. About how beautiful it is that we are all literally pausing our lives for the collective good. About what a unifying experience this is. 

You can choose to talk about how people are hand-knitting masks and delivering free meals and setting up food drives. About how MIT professors and students just released the plans for a ventilator that can be manufactured for less than $100. About how we are already adapting. About how we are finding new ways to communicate and work together and adjust to this new norm. 

You can choose to talk about the long-term financial impact that this might have on the economy. 

Or you can choose to talk about how it’s possible that historically, this might go down as a three-month economic pause. A time when credit card payments and loans were deferred and governments gave people a little money and we all hunkered down and took a collective break from being, doing and going. 

You can choose to think about all the money you aren’t making. 

Or you can choose to talk about all the money you’re saving. About how this could serve as a great budgeting exercise for you. 

You can choose to talk about how bored you are and how being laid off sucks. 

 

Or you can talk about how we have all have gained a tremendous amount of life’s most valuable currency:

Time. 

 

Time to think and read and plan and be with family. Time to peel back the layers of bullshit that get thrown upon us and to remember what is truly important in life. 

You can talk about how this shutdown might last for months. Or you can talk about how spring is upon us and studies have shown that coronaviruses are weakened by warmer weather.

You get to choose. Will it be confidence, or fear, that comes out of your mouth? 

 

Step five is to show confidence. 

Times are tight for a lot of people. But they ain’t tight for everyone.

For those of you who are still working and who have some disposable income, now is not your time to start pinching pennies.

Assess your situation. Have you really lost that much money? Are things that bad? If not, then look for ways to use some of your money to support those around you.

Order take-out from your favorite restaurants. Tip a little bit more than normal. When you do go to shop, make an effort to seek out local businesses. The corporations will be fine. Now is when your community needs you more than ever. 

 

---

 

Now, you don’t have to believe any of this. You can choose to reject the idea that confidence is a currency. You can choose to be cynical and to prepare for the worst and to indulge yourself in hypotheticals. 

But this pandemic is going to end. And 99.5% of us are going to be responsible for moving on when it does.

And the key to moving on is the same as the key to creating currencies:

It’s all about what you choose to believe. 

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